Peyton Place: A Haiku Soap Opera [excerpt]
348 Just when you think you can trust someone, they turn out to be the Bad Seed. 349 I do not know which to prefer: Shakespeare quote or pillow fight after. 350 Stuffed bird and weirdo behind desk—is Jack checking into Bates Motel? 351 Rachel kidnaps the baby, yes, but in preview Betty and Rod kiss. 352 Something I learned long ago, Connie: never turn down a sedative. 353 Two policemen shoot at and chase Chandler. All three of them run like girls. 354 Leigh will one day win Emmy, but not for losing her mind on this show. 355 Here's Gena Rowlands, Mrs. John Cassavetes, much-needed fresh blood. 356 Relax, Rita won't croak. Her weak heart will tick till this soap gets canceled. 357 Jack escapes from jail and takes off to do guest spots on TV Westerns. 358 Whack! Nothing ends an episode better than a good slap in the face. 359 And nothing starts an episode better than a repeat of that slap. 360 "Again" (Fox standard) is always playing at the Colonial Inn. 361 Step right up, folks, and witness Rod's imitation of a barking seal. 362 This is just to say Elliot ate an apple— Golden Delicious.
Copyright © 2012 by David Trinidad. Used with permission of the author.