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Poem-a-Day

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Poem-a-day

A Dozen Cocktails Please

No spinsterlollypop for me—yes—we have 
No bananas I got lusting palate—I  Always eat them— — — — — — —     
They have dandy celluloid tubes—all sizes—
Tinted diabolically as a baboon’s hind-complexion. 
A man’s a— 
Piffle! 
Will-o’-th’-wisp! What’s the dread 
Matter with the up-to-date-American- 
Home-comforts? Bum insufficient for the 
Should-be wellgroomed upsy! 
That’s the leading question. 
There’s the vibrator— — — 
Coy flappertoy! I am adult citizen with 
Vote—I demand my unstinted share 
In roofeden—witchsabbath of our baby- 
Lonian obelisk.  
What’s radio for—if you please? 
“Eve’s dart pricks snookums upon 
Wirefence. ” 
An apple a day— — —   
It’ll come— — — — 
Ha! When? I’m no tongueswallowing yogi. 
Progress is ravishlng—
It doesn’t me—
Nudge it—
Kick it—
Prod it—
Push it—
Broadcast— — — —
That’s the lightning idea! 
S.O.S. national shortage of—  
What ? 
How are we going to put it befitting 
Lifted upsys? 
Psh! Any sissy poet has sufficient freezing 
Chemicals in his Freudian icechest to snuff all 
Cockiness. We’ll hire one. 
Hell! Not that! That’s the trouble— —  
Cock crow silly! 
Oh fine! 
They’re in France—the air on the line—
The Poles— — — — — —
Have them send waves—like candy—
Valentines— — — —
“Say it with— — — 
Bolts ! 
Oh thunder! 
Serpentine aircurrents— — —
Hhhhhphssssssss! The very word penetrates 
I feel whoozy! 
I like that. I don’t hanker after Billyboys—but I am entitled 
To be deeply shocked. 
So are we—but you fill the hiatus. 
Dear—I ain’t queer—I need it straight— —
A dozen cocktails—please— — — —

This poem is in the public domain. Published in Poem-a-Day on March 14, 2026, by the Academy of American Poets.

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Elsa von Freytag-Loringhoven

Elsa von Freytag-Loringhoven
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About Poem-a-Day

Poem-a-Day is the original and only daily digital poetry series featuring over 250 new, previously unpublished poems by today’s talented poets each year. Danusha Laméris is the Guest Editor for March. Read or listen to a Q&A with Laméris about his curatorial process, and learn more about the 2026 Guest Editors. Support Poem-a-Day.  

If you have any questions about Poem-a-Day, visit our Poem-a-Day FAQ.

Previous Poems

Title Author Date
I Could Let You Go Thomas Dooley 12/30/2014
Poem from the Russian Jean Valentine 12/29/2014
The Snow Fairy Claude McKay 12/28/2014
Within the Circuit of this Plodding Life Henry David Thoreau 12/27/2014
Sylvia Plath Is in Paris with a Balloon on a Long String Amy Newman 12/26/2014
Christmas Trees Robert Frost 12/24/2014
A Touch Rose McLarney 12/24/2014
from “Daughter of a Tree Farm” Carrie Olivia Adams 12/23/2014
Archipelagic R. A. Villanueva 12/22/2014
When the Year Grows Old Edna St. Vincent Millay 12/21/2014

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