Representation

(“My wife is against suffrage, and that settles me.”—Vice-President Marshall.)

I.

My wife dislikes the income tax,

   And so I cannot pay it;

She thinks that golf all interest lacks,

   So now I never play it;

She is opposed to tolls repeal

   (Though why I cannot say),

But woman’s duty is to feel,

   And man’s is to obey.

II.

I’m in a hard position for a perfect gentleman,

   I want to please the ladies, but I don’t see how I can,

My present wife’s a suffragist, and counts on my support,

   But my mother is an anti, of a rather biting sort;

One grandmother is on the fence, the other much opposed,

   And my sister lives in Oregon, she thinks the question’s closed;

Each one is counting on my vote to represent her view.

   Now what should you think proper for a gentleman to do?