(“My wife is against suffrage, and that settles me.”—Vice-President Marshall.)

I.

My wife dislikes the income tax,
   And so I cannot pay it;
She thinks that golf all interest lacks,
   So now I never play it;
She is opposed to tolls repeal
   (Though why I cannot say),
But woman’s duty is to feel,
   And man’s is to obey.

II.

I’m in a hard position for a perfect gentleman,
   I want to please the ladies, but I don’t see how I can,
My present wife’s a suffragist, and counts on my support,
   But my mother is an anti, of a rather biting sort;
One grandmother is on the fence, the other much opposed,
   And my sister lives in Oregon, she thinks the question’s closed;
Each one is counting on my vote to represent her view.
   Now what should you think proper for a gentleman to do?