please advise stop [my father’s dying makes stairs of every line of text seeming neither to go up or down stop]

my father’s dying makes stairs of every line of text seeming neither to go up or down
   stop   
that I make the nodding motion to help myself feel I understand stop
in common with his bafflement I find comprehension alone will not suffice stop

that I begin to find other books in other rooms were always the same book stop
affiliation which comes from the Latin ad- plus filius meaning son stop
a correct word would steady more than itself like a banister please

first will I need to write any one of the letters that neither of us wrote to the other stop
one cannot predict but only open the hands that are inherited stop
and watch what they do please advise