Pécheresse

Down the long quay the slow boats glide,
   While here and there a house looms white
Against the gloom of the waterside,
   And some high window throws a light
   As they sail out into the night.

At dawn they will bring in again
   To women knitting on the quay 
Who wait for him, their man of men ;
   I stand with them, and watch the sea
   Which may have taken mine from me.

Just so the long days come and go.
   The nights, ma Doué ! the nights are cold !
Our Lady’s heart is as frozen snow,
   Since this one sin I have not told ;
   And I shall die or perhaps grow old

Before he comes.     The foreign ships
   Bring many a one of face and name
As strange as his, to buy your lips,
   A gold piece for a scarlet shame
   Like mine.     But mine was not the same.

One night was ours, one short grey day
   Of sudden sin, unshrived, untold.
He found me, and I lost the way
   To Paradise for him.     I sold
   My soul for love and not for gold.

He bought my soul, but even so,
   My face is all that he has seen,
His is the only face I know,
And in the dark church, like a screen,
   It shuts God out ; it comes between ;

While in some narrow foreign street
   Or loitering on the crowded quay,
Who knows what others he may meet
   To turn his eyes away from me ?
   Many are fair to such as he !

There is but one for such as I
   To love, to hate, to hunger for ;
I shall, perhaps, grow old and die, 
   With one short day to spend and store,
   One night, in all my life, no more.

Just so the long days come and go,
   Yet this one sin I will not tell
Though Mary’s heart is as frozen snow
And all nights are cold for one warmed too well.
   But, oh ! ma Doué ! the nights of Hell !

From The Farmer’s Bride (The Poetry Bookshop, 1921) by Charlotte Mew. This poem is in the public domain.