Patrizia doesn't want to Talk about love she Says she just Wants to make Love but she talks About it almost endlessly to me. It is horrible it Is the worst thing in life Says Patrizia Nothing Not death not sickness Is as bad as love I am always In love I am always Suffering from love Says Patrizia. Now I am used to it But I am suffering all the same Do you know what I did to her Once?--speaking Of her girlfriend--I kicked her out I literally kicked her she was down on the floor and I Gave her the colpi di piedi the Kicks of my foot. She slided out. She did this To me promised to go on a trip I am all waiting prepared Suitcases and tickets She comes and says her other friend finds out she Can't go she guessed about it. I KICKED her out Oh we are still together Sometimes. But love is horrible. I thought You might be the best Person to talk to Patrizia since you Love women and are a woman Yourself. You may be right Patrizia Said. But this woman who abandons You I think you should Disappear. Though maybe with this woman Disappearing won't work. I think not disappear. It's too bad I don't know her If I knew her if I could see her Just for ten minutes--I'm afraid If you saw her you might take Her away from me. Patrizia Laughs. No it hasn't happened to me Thank God to like such young women yet Why? When you are my Age--still young--she Is thirty . . . nine? you are close enough To people very young to Know how horrible they are And you don't love them You don't want to have anything To do with them! Oh Uh huh, I said putting My hands down on the table and then off Look at you excuse me but I have to laugh At you sitting in this horrible Restaurant at one o'clock In the morning in a City you don't want to be In and why? For this woman. It is horrible I know but Also funny I know I said. Listen I have An idea. Do you know her address? You know where She lives? You should go there Go and hide there Outside her house In the bushes Then when she comes out You jump out You confront her. You will see If there is love In her eyes or not. It can't Be hidden. You will know It can't be mistaken This works This has always worked For me. It won't work for me. I can't Go and hide there It is true Patrizia says when there is love everything Works when there isn't nothing does. Love Is a god These Freudian things I don't believe at all This god you have to do what He wants you to you are Angry but all you really want Is to get her back. Then--revenge! If This woman did something like this to me I would simply dislike her in fact I would hate her You may want to consider Patrizia said that this woman is Doing this test to you. No, I Said. I know she's not. I know something. I feel A hundred years old. Yet You don't look so bad, Patrizia said. Find another woman. I can't. I Know Patrizia said. But one always thinks it Is a good idea. But If you can't you can't. I Can't even eat This food Patrizia I said. I'm sorry I said Patrizia to be so Boring I can't stop talking Forgive Me. It doesn't bore me at all Patrizia says It's my favorite subject It isn't every day one sees somebody In such a state you can help him by talking to stay alive You know, Patrizia says if she Does this thing to you now She will do it again And again so you'd better be ready Maybe you can get the advantage By saying she is right you Don't love her Good bye You leave However if you want her You should go into the bushes And surprise her when they see you It always makes a difference I can't go hide there Patrizia That's insane. I went but not Hiding and not confronting. Patrizia: What did she say? I said The same things. Patrizia said Did you see love in her eyes? I said No. I didn't. I saw Something else. In Florence it's rainy Her (relatively) short hair and Her eyes along the Arno The last time I'll ever see her again As the one I am seeing again When seeing again still has some meaning. It's finished Patrizia's saying For now but don't worry I think you will get her back But it will be too late. Oh Patrizia I Let my back and head fall against The chair Late isn't anything!
Kenneth Koch - 1925-2002
(sign at a railroad crossing in Kenya)
In a poem, one line may hide another line, As at a crossing, one train may hide another train. That is, if you are waiting to cross The tracks, wait to do it for one moment at Least after the first train is gone. And so when you read Wait until you have read the next line-- Then it is safe to go on reading. In a family one sister may conceal another, So, when you are courting, it's best to have them all in view Otherwise in coming to find one you may love another. One father or one brother may hide the man, If you are a woman, whom you have been waiting to love. So always standing in front of something the other As words stand in front of objects, feelings, and ideas. One wish may hide another. And one person's reputation may hide The reputation of another. One dog may conceal another On a lawn, so if you escape the first one you're not necessarily safe; One lilac may hide another and then a lot of lilacs and on the Appia Antica one tomb May hide a number of other tombs. In love, one reproach may hide another, One small complaint may hide a great one. One injustice may hide another--one colonial may hide another, One blaring red uniform another, and another, a whole column. One bath may hide another bath As when, after bathing, one walks out into the rain. One idea may hide another: Life is simple Hide Life is incredibly complex, as in the prose of Gertrude Stein One sentence hides another and is another as well. And in the laboratory One invention may hide another invention, One evening may hide another, one shadow, a nest of shadows. One dark red, or one blue, or one purple--this is a painting By someone after Matisse. One waits at the tracks until they pass, These hidden doubles or, sometimes, likenesses. One identical twin May hide the other. And there may be even more in there! The obstetrician Gazes at the Valley of the Var. We used to live there, my wife and I, but One life hid another life. And now she is gone and I am here. A vivacious mother hides a gawky daughter. The daughter hides Her own vivacious daughter in turn. They are in A railway station and the daughter is holding a bag Bigger than her mother's bag and successfully hides it. In offering to pick up the daughter's bag one finds oneself confronted by the mother's And has to carry that one, too. So one hitchhiker May deliberately hide another and one cup of coffee Another, too, until one is over-excited. One love may hide another love or the same love As when "I love you" suddenly rings false and one discovers The better love lingering behind, as when "I'm full of doubts" Hides "I'm certain about something and it is that" And one dream may hide another as is well known, always, too. In the Garden of Eden Adam and Eve may hide the real Adam and Eve. Jerusalem may hide another Jerusalem. When you come to something, stop to let it pass So you can see what else is there. At home, no matter where, Internal tracks pose dangers, too: one memory Certainly hides another, that being what memory is all about, The eternal reverse succession of contemplated entities. Reading A Sentimental Journey look around When you have finished, for Tristram Shandy, to see If it is standing there, it should be, stronger And more profound and theretofore hidden as Santa Maria Maggiore May be hidden by similar churches inside Rome. One sidewalk May hide another, as when you're asleep there, and One song hide another song; a pounding upstairs Hide the beating of drums. One friend may hide another, you sit at the foot of a tree With one and when you get up to leave there is another Whom you'd have preferred to talk to all along. One teacher, One doctor, one ecstasy, one illness, one woman, one man May hide another. Pause to let the first one pass. You think, Now it is safe to cross and you are hit by the next one. It can be important To have waited at least a moment to see what was already there.