Dora Diller
“My stomach’s full of butterflies!” lamented Dora Diller. Her mother sighed. “That’s no surprise, you ate a caterpillar!”
From The New Kid on the Block, published by Greenwillow, 1984. Used with permission.
Poems
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Bleezer’s Ice Cream
I am Ebenezer Bleezer,
I run BLEEZER’S ICE CREAM STORE,
there are flavors in my freezer
you have never seen before,
twenty-eight divine creations
too delicious to resist,
why not do yourself a favor,
try the flavors on my list:
1984
Be Glad Your Nose Is on Your Face
Be glad your nose is on your face,
not pasted on some other place,
for if it were where it is not,
you might dislike your nose a lot.
Imagine if your precious nose
were sandwiched in between your toes,
that clearly would not be a treat,
for you’d be forced to smell your feet.
1984
As Soon as Fred Gets Out of Bed
As soon as Fred gets out of bed, his underwear goes on his head. His mother laughs, “Don’t put it there, a head’s no place for underwear!” But near his ears, above his brains, is where Fred’s underwear remains. At night when Fred goes back to bed, he deftly plucks it off his head. His mother switches off the light and softly croons, “Good night! Good night!” And then, for reasons no one knows, Fred’s underwear goes on his toes.
1990