As soon as Fred gets out of bed, his underwear goes on his head. His mother laughs, “Don’t put it there, a head’s no place for underwear!” But near his ears, above his brains, is where Fred’s underwear remains. At night when Fred goes back to bed, he deftly plucks it off his head. His mother switches off the light and softly croons, “Good night! Good night!” And then, for reasons no one knows, Fred’s underwear goes on his toes.
From Something BIG Has Been Here, published by Greenwillow, 1990. Used with permission.
Be glad your nose is on your face,
not pasted on some other place,
for if it were where it is not,
you might dislike your nose a lot.
Imagine if your precious nose
were sandwiched in between your toes,
that clearly would not be a treat,
for you’d be forced to smell your feet.
Your nose would be a source of dread
were it attached atop your head,
it soon would drive you to despair,
forever tickled by your hair.
Within your ear, your nose would be
an absolute catastrophe,
for when you were obliged to sneeze,
your brain would rattle from the breeze.
Your nose, instead, through thick and thin,
remains between your eyes and chin,
not pasted on some other place—
be glad your nose is on your face!
From The New Kid on the Block, published by Greenwillow, 1984. Used with permission.