Hatred and vengeance, my eternal portion, Scarce can endure delay of execution, Wait, with impatient readiness, to seize my Soul in a moment. Damned below Judas: more abhorred than he was, Who for a few pence sold his holy Master. Twice betrayed Jesus me, this last delinquent, Deems the profanest. Man disavows, and Deity disowns me: Hell might afford my miseries a shelter; Therefore hell keeps her ever hungry mouths all Bolted against me. Hard lot! encompassed with a thousand dangers; Weary, faint, trembling with a thousand terrors; I'm called, if vanquished, to receive a sentence Worse than Abiram's. Him the vindictive rod of angry justice Sent quick and howling to the center headlong; I, fed with judgment, in a fleshly tomb, am Buried above ground.
William Cowper - 1731-1800
Olney Hymns, IX [The Contrite Heart]
The Lord will happiness divine On contrite hearts bestow; Then tell me, gracious God, is mine A contrite heart or no? I hear, but seem to hear in vain, Insensible as steel; If aught is felt, 'tis only pain, To find I cannot feel. I sometimes think myself inclined To love Thee if I could; But often feel another mind, Averse to all that's good. My best desires are faint and few, I fain would strive for more; But when I cry, "My strength renew!" Seem weaker than before. Thy saints are comforted, I know, And love Thy house of prayer; I therefore go where others go, But find no comfort there. Oh make this heart rejoice or ache; Decide this doubt for me; And if it be not broken, break— And heal it, if it be.