The mother finds her own wild, lost beginnings deep within the body of her daughter

 after Jacqueline Rose / after Chen Chen

she fed me 

clothed me

kept me

safe albeit

in excess

five layers

in spite of 

subtropical 

winter heat

so much to

eat I needed

digestive pills

to ward off

the stomach’s 

sharp protest

how not to

utter the un- 

grateful thing: 

that I am 

irrevocably

her object

that the

poet who 

wrote this

saved my life: 

Sometimes, 

parents &

children

become

the most

common of 

strangers 

Eventually,

a street 

appears

where they 

can meet 

again

How I

wished

that street

would appear

I kept trying

to make her 

proud of my 

acumen for 

language

these words

have not

been for

nothing

I wrote

to find

the street 

where we

might meet

again & now

there is relief

guilt or blame

but they are 

nearly always 

misplaced

you are born 

into the slip-

stream of

your mother’s 

unconscious

if someone

had told her

that the last 

thing a young 

mother needs

is false decency

courage & cheer 

she might not 

have hurt us

both but what

to do with 

remorse &

love that comes 

unbidden like a 

generous rain

how to accept

her care after

the storm is there

a point at which

the mother is 

redeemed the

child forgiven

can the origin

story be re-told

transfigured into

the version where

the garden is always 

paradise & no one 

need ever fall

out of grace