How I Changed My Name, Felice
In Italy a man's name, here a woman's, transliterated so I went to school for seven years, and no one told me different. The teachers hardly cared, and in the class Italian boys who knew me said Felice, although outside they called me feh-LEE-tchay. I might have lived, my noun so neutralized, another seven years, except one day I broke a window like nobody's girl, and the old lady called a cop, whose sass was wonderful when all the neighbors smiled and said that there was no boy named Felice. And then it was it came on me, my shame, and I stepped up, and told him, and he grinned. My father paid a quarter for my sin, called me inside to look up in a book that Felix was American for me. A Roman name, I read. And what he said was that no Roman broke a widow's glass, and fanned my little Neapolitan ass.