Clarinet
At my family’s stained window,
A morning jay.
I stop my scissoring,
As if I could reclaim
A Santiago of bird-call
& sudden ease,
As if I could annul
The battle-gray maze of gutting
Jails, courthouses, morgues—
Purgatory where I bend
Over the burlap,
Again & again,
To show the blunt,
Still disillusioning world
The smashed black bell
Of your clarinet.
A blue swatch of your work-shirt becomes
The irrevocable, raw dusk
Of that day;
Here, in this farrago of scraps,
Your living room as I found it:
Lunatic with ripped song sheets …
In imploring red,
A beggar’s scuffed vermilion,
I’ve stitched:
Whoever sees my arpillera,
Help me to pray for my son.
He was seen leaving rehearsal
At 7 o’clock.
He was seen in detention
At Londres #38.
He was seen; he was seen...
After so many years, perhaps
You wouldn’t recognize me, Leonel;
I’ve become the weatherworn,
Undocile woman
Manacled to a tyrant’s fence,
A mother dancing the gueca solo
In the monitored plaza,
The ache of my make-do arms
Trumpeted,
Your rakish college photo
Pinned to my wind-riffled blouse:
In the arpillera,
A tiny, vivid, appliquéd doll,
Forever mourning,
Forever swaying
To your unforgettable woodwind.
Copyright © 2022 by Cyrus Cassells. From The World That the Shooter Left Us (Four Way Books, 2022). Used with permission of the author.