The Hello Kitty piñata’s head swings from the pepper tree— a sweet decapitation. Glitter across the rental table & pink paper flowers wilt in the succulents. This is the stale beer & cigarettes of seven-year-olds. “My fluffy puppy is so soft” still means “my fluffy puppy is so soft.” I’m seducing my wife the way good men of my generation do, by rinsing blue & red sticky plates & taking out heavy cake trash. I’m celebrating their lack of cool. No fights over girls or boys to save face, just face paint, just little leopards everywhere.