Dear Claudia Castro Luna 2020
As part of the 2020 Dear Poet project, students around the country and the world wrote letters to Claudia Castro Luna in response to a video of her reading her poem “Asi” aloud. Claudia Castro Luna wrote letters back to three of these students; their letters and her replies are included below, along with several additional responses from students.
Claudia Castro Luna also wrote a response to all of the participants of this year's Dear Poet project.
Dear young Poets,
Thank you so much for taking the time to pen such beautiful and sincere letters in response to my poem, "Asi." It gave me great pleasure to read about your lives and how the poem spoke to your particular circumstances.
I am originally from El Salvador and came to the US when I was fourteen years old and a high school sophomore. My family left El Salvador as it succumbed to a civil war that lasted twelve years. I did not speak any English and my high school did not have any other newcomer students like me. For this reason, place and belonging are themes I return to often in my writing.
Several of you wanted to know which exactly is this city I refer to in my poem. Some of you spoke of real places in your lives where you feel belonging. Others asked if this city of mine is an imaginary construct. The city in the poem stands for a metaphorical space where I can be exactly who I need to be at that moment: smart and sassy, full of self-doubt, silly, studious and reserved. The city is my body, the place where my intellect and my spirit reside. The city is also the poem itself. In writing the poem I create a place of belonging for myself. I write myself into being. This city I penned, and inhabit, accepts all aspects of myself: the physical, the spiritual, the intellectual, the writer, the mother, the daughter, the friend.
The reference to my hair in the poem was also a source of many of your questions. In the poem, my hair is a metaphor for self-acceptance. Long ago, when I was in high school in fact, I stopped thinking too much about my hair. Unruly and big at times, with soft gentle curls at others, no matter what I did to it, it insisted on doing its own thing. It insisted on being itself. Over time I also have learned to insist on being myself. My hair is only one small aspect of who I am. There is a universe inside of each of us that welcomes how we are, how we were, all of the possibilities within us.
It took time for me to understand that in order for others to accept me, I have to embrace myself completely. This is why the poem addresses the languages I speak as well as my emotional and physical selves. In other words, all of me. Asi.
With heartfelt gratitude,
Claudia Castro Luna
Washington State Poet Laureate
From Cynthia, Grade 12
Dear Claudia Castro Luna,
Hello, my name is Cynthia and I may not have the biggest hair, but I understand the process of trying to tame the curly little locks I call baby hairs. I understand the urge to try to “tame” myself and fit in but in my city, I suddenly don’t feel that urge. I feel as if your poem “Asi” speaks to me. I visit the city of Humenne, Slovakia yearly. Over there I feel like I belong. That city has been through all the falls on the sidewalks and midnight runs with me. I don’t wake up with an urge to perfectly gel my hair into place when putting it in a bun or ponytail. I feel the pressure taken off my shoulders and feel that “this city let me, let me, be” all the sides of me I tried to cover up here. I deeply relate to the line in your poem that says “This continent plus that continent” because I live in North America but feel safe and at home in Europe. When I am here, I try to incorporate the eastern European part of me into daily life here. I sometimes mix my English sentences with a bit of Slovak words and Czech words, making my sentence look like a salad.
The descriptive language you incorporate in your poem reaches my soul deeply, reminding me of how great it is to belong somewhere even if that place isn’t here. I can feel the peace you feel, the sense of belonging. I admire the syntax, the word choice, you use towards the end of the poem when you include Spanish words in a sentence with English in it, blending the two languages together as if it were one.
Your poem is centered around finally feeling a sense of belonging in a city that accepts you for you. So, would you say that a city or a place that deeply resonates with someone can change their entire mood? For an example, when I enter the city of Humenne, I automatically feel calmer and relieved. Do you think others go through the same kinds of emotions when they enter “their” city? Does this always have to be a city that accepts you or can it be something else? I think it can be anything as long as it deeply resonates within you. Do you agree?
Sincerely,
Cynthia
Grade 12
Old Bridge, NJ
From Emely, Grade 11
Dear Claudia Castro Luna,
My name is Emely and I am 17 years old. I was born in Washington D.C. and raised in Maryland. I truly enjoy listening to and reading poetry. I am a proud daughter of two Salvadoran parents, and I am in love with my heritage and culture. I have messy brown curly hair and I used to be afraid to show it off but now I love showing it off. Still living in the same home since I was 3 years old makes me feel like I belong. I like speaking in Spanish more than in English and I think that is beautiful.
Your poem “Asi” not only spoke to me but made me feel connected to me as if I was the one saying it. The poem first captured my attention when the title is shown in Spanish. At first I did not understand why you titled the poem “Asi” but once you got to the phrase “Me gustas asi,” it then explained to me why it was titled “Asi”. This poem made me think of all the people who would tell me I am not beautiful, and I am not what beauty is. This poem empowered me to think of myself as enough and more than enough. To think of myself as beautiful and to not give others my power. I enjoyed this poem because it spoke about how the city you were growing up in lets you be who you are without changing a single thing about you. My favorite line is “My hair really is that size side of me” because my hair is untamable and I never comb it. No one should make fun of me because my hair is beautiful and I love it because it is a part of me.
When you were writing this poem did you feel like you were giving motivation to yourself, to others who may feel the same way or both? When writing this poem, did you purposely write the “Asi” in first person so whoever is reading the poem can feel like they belong and they are beautiful as they read the poem themselves? Did society influence you to write this poem? What is your heritage? If someone already read the poem I would not try to recite it because I already heard how it sounds like but when I heard your poem I searched up the poem and I recited it like if it were mine. Reciting the poem made me feel good about myself. Thank you for writing this poem, it has helped with my self-esteem.
Sincerely,
Emely
Grade 11
Washington, DC
From Daniel, Grade 11
Dear Professor Castro Luna:
Hi! My name is Daniel. As a son of immigrants, “if languages were countries then I have lived in different countries.” That quote from your documentary truly resonated with me. My life has been a constant travel, physically and with language. Circumstances of parents' work made me move cities, if not to different states then to countries, every year up until my first year of middle school. Reading your poems, I was drawn to them, not like a moth to a flame, but more like a child to a candy store. I found myself coming back again and again, reading the poem out loud, feeling them on tongue as they rushed out rhythmically. I appreciate your use of repetition in “Asi” and “Assiduously”, as it contributes greatly to the flow of the poem, much like a chord progression of a song. It led me with the “of me” identities in Asi and use of “no” in Assiduously. What I enjoyed about the structure of Assiduously is the long sentences followed by small bite sized pieces of sentences. It gives me the feeling of crashing waves, much like how life makes me feel when I think about my future, a path of uncertainty yet it is what you make of it and wherever you end is the right place.
Asi was the first poem I read by you. It was also the first poem on the website that made me go “Damn.” It hit the spot about finding your identity through the communities around you. The faults and the crazy, all of it is developed and becomes part of your environment. You say this with beginning sentences of “the I’m afraid and I can’t of me.” Yet, it really interested me that you also recognized that it was the place of finding one’s potential “raw mass” and one’s worth “taking space”, even inside such a big city as Seattle. I pray that I am able to find my potential and worth. I realized when you said that we all become part of the fabric of where we live, that it was true. For me, that is the Rio Grande Valley, which is the tip of Texas on the border. As mentioned before, I have moved around all my life. I believe that I also wasn’t able to develop friends and interests outside of my own space, that I could take with me wherever, due to the fact of never staying in a community for long. That community was always school, and it was also numbing to see people never again, that final day of school every year. So when I could stay, I believe that is when my growth started. While definitely not fluent, the Spanish language has become part of my identity. The North Mexico culture has become part of my identity. Yet as culture is different from the body and my small eyes and long hair can be the subject of ridicule to those around me, I find the flaws of this place of rest. It has given me much but it has also taken away plenty, for good or worse. There is my Asian identity, although it is small, it is there. Any bias of my upbringing in communities that were racially divided is gone which is nice. But I have become indifferent to the suffering on the border, the local media talking about the atrocities everywhere but here. It is quiet in a kind of unsettling silence, but I think I finally understand that this city is my city.
Assiduously was not the second poem I read by you but it was something that brought out of me strong emotions of fear and insecurity. The feeling of “nowhere” multiplying in my chest ravenous does hurt. It hurts a lot. I believe this feeling to be the part of anxiety that is not anticipation of something, but the uncertainty of what that something is. And when you are this uncertain, people try to help and point you in directions. You say that “a compass is useless when you are lost”. I believe when people guide you, pointing you to a place of far off lands with similar faces, futures that are well into the future, that their advice is not the most helpful, a tool with no purpose. I enjoyed the perspective of “sometimes life is a minute ahead and a few days behind.” It is the case of the negative being far more impactful than the positive. It feels of the world being a giver of setbacks and disappointments, and an occasional bringer of peace. It made me realize that while I do have a dreary outlook of my foggy future, that it is a bias. There are more reasons to be excited for the future than reasons to cry, although it may seem close. Love, freedom, and responsibility will grow me as a person far more robust in character and decision making then I am now. Regarding the “tearing a piece of one’s shadow like bread”, I believe I can feel this feeling. A stretch of pleasure that your whole body shakes from tension as you reach for the heavens, relaxing to find bliss and peace. It is found after a long day of rewarding work or after reading a surprisingly great book. Yes, much like a amazing good, the ending brought peace within me. The future destination is our choice, so while it feels intimidating, we shall always be where we are supposed to be, and I believe I can find comfort in that.
Thank you, Claudia Castro Luna. I gained insight on myself from this letter to you. I found myself having a period of introspective thoughts about my life so far, something that is more valuable than gemstones. Thank you for gifting this to me through your words and for allowing a tiny teen to write to you. I hope you gain something as well through the Dear Poet program.
With Utmost Respect,
Daniel
Grade 11
Mercedes, TX
From Lakya, Grade 11
Dear Claudia Castro Luna,
Why do poets always say the trees dance? Trees don’t always dance: they hug, they laugh, and most importantly they tremble. When you speak of trees you speak of presence and placement, as if it was a destiny. I would like to be a tree: something that doesn’t move too quickly and is mostly free and chooses where to grow. Trees are always around us in everyday life but poets always say they dance, but they never say the trees are home. I completely relate with the words “the I ‘am afraid and I can’t of me...” I think many people could relate to not being comfortable with their own discomfort with themselves and when you find that place where you can be all dysfunctional and all yourself it is the best place ever. You often mention “the city". Is “the city" a place where you feel truthful about who you are and how you are the most confident in yourself? Is “the city" a place or a state of mind? In the world there is always something that is a human instinct to be a part of the tribe; sometimes being part of a tribe means losing your individuality but in places like “the city" you have permission to show anything. Hair. Hair is “the city" you speak of. The place that is beyond and boundless, and mostly it doesn’t follow any rules. Why do you use hair in this poem? Did you have any personal challenges with accepting your hair?
I often wonder why people write poems. I often write too but sometimes I don’t know why I write. Why did you write this? How old were you during this time, and what was your most profound thoughts during that time? Your poem was very complex because of the multiple perspectives. Any reader reading this would either know “the city", the hair, the tree, or freedom but they know it’s about self acceptance and knowing there is a place where you don’t have to apologize about being who you are. People say sorry so many in a day that sometimes saying sorry is like saying bless you when somebody sneezes. You say because it the rights thing to do. Most times, people apologize because of the space they take up. Should anyone say sorry for that?
Sincerely,
Lakya
Grade 11
Washington, DC
From Shriya, Grade 9
Dear Claudia Castro Luna,
My name is Shriya and I am a high school freshman from Michigan. I wanted to participate in the Dear Poet Project 2020, so I went on a hunt to look for poems. I may have been searching for over an hour, but then I came across your poem, “Asi.” I read it the first time and I fell in love with it. I could really relate to it, and it taught me a lot about how I should view myself.
The poem begins with positive and negative connotations of a city viewing the narrator for who they are. Then, readers get to know that the city was a symbol of really big hair, the hair that let the narrator be her true self without having to shy away from anything. The hair accepted the narrator and said “Me gustas asi”, which is Spanish for “I like you like that.” Finally, there is a comparison of a person to a tree. The leaves represented the hair of a human, conveying to readers that trees look beautiful with their leaves, and humans look beautiful with their hair, regardless of how it looks.
The first thing I noticed was the immense amount of literary devices that you incorporated. I noticed a lot of symbolism, repetition, metaphors, personification, some juxtaposition, and some Spanish language. I also noticed that you had a very reflective voice. I noticed your hair symbolically represented the city and the world that accepts you for who you are. There was also a lot of repetition of the word, “me”, which emphasized that the poem is about you and your journey of seeing your hair for what it is. There were also hints of metaphors, such as “each shaft an electric / tendril vibrating on its own” where hair strands were indirectly compared to an electric tendril shaft. I also noticed that you included juxtaposition when the words “quick” and “slow” were place next to each other. I liked how you included Spanish in your poem because I was able to connect with you and understand your background. Overall, I felt there was a reflective voice because you’re describing the city to the readers. You asked questions that made readers think. The voice highlighted in the poem allowed me to process what you were saying, and it helped me think of myself to relate to what you’re speaking about.
I dearly loved your poem, but I have a few questions. What made you want to write about hair? Did you have a traumatic or important moment that helped you come to good terms with your hair? What made you want to compare your hair to a city or even to the world? I really liked how you used Spanish in your poem, but why did you include it? Did your native language have to do with any memories notable to your hair? I’m sorry that I’ve been asking so many questions, but I really want to fully understand your poem. I don’t think that poetry is my forte, so I’ve never found a poem that means as much as yours does.
This poem means a lot to me. As I said before, I don’t think I’m a very creative person when it comes to poetry or writing song lyrics. I am never able to find the true meaning of a poem because I can’t analyze a poem as much as I should. I don’t think there’s been even one poem that has changed me, but then I found your poem. I instantly connected to your poem after reading it. I literally fell in love with it. I have really big, frizzy, and curly hair. I’ve struggled with this my entire life, and I hate my hair, especially because my sister has long, beautiful, and straight hair. I’ve always been super insecure about my hair and what people think of it. I try to braid it or straighten it whenever I’m allowed to because I don’t like how my hair looks. I’ve never worn my hair out because I was afraid of what people would say about it. Then I came across your poem. It changed how I view my hair. Your poem taught me to love my hair for what it is. Even if I hide things in the world, my hair is the one place I can truly be me. I would like to thank you for writing such an incredible poem that changed how I view myself. Ahora me gusta mi cabello así. Me gusta todo de mí así.
Sincerely,
Shriya
Grade 9
Troy, MI
From Corrin, Grade 8
Dear Claudia Castro Luna,
My name is Corrin and I’m an eighth grader at Marshall Middle school and my teacher’s name is Mrs. Castner. Your poem “Asi” stuck out to me because it has certain themes that I have learned about. Self-love, identity, the city were the themes of the poem and these stuck out to me because as a young child I struggled with these and I just recently learned how to somewhat accept myself. In fifth grade I transferred to a different school. I constantly felt like something was off about me, and I wasn’t like everybody else. People would regularly beg to touch my hair and ask me why I say things the way I do. In sixth grade I started straightening my hair, wearing different clothes, and speaking differently so I could fit in with everyone else. In seventh grade I found my present best friend. She stated that she had the same troubles as me, but she had the ability to not reform herself. At the time we were friends I was adjusting myself again but back to natural. In eighth grade at the start of the year I had altered everything back to traditional except my hair. My hair was the biggest thing I was vulnerable about. In the middle of the school term I quit straightening my hair, but I damaged it. My two friends said they loved it and that they cherished me just the way I am. When they told me I felt accepting with myself. They helped me be me and not desire anyone’s approval.
In your poem you talk about how when you got to the new city you were scared but how the city accepted you in your rawest form. When you first moved to the city did you have anyone or anything to find comfort in? When you wrote “don’t comb down anything, don’t tame nothing” in your poem I really connected to this because my natural hair is really big, but when you wrote this were you talking about anything else at the time?
Your poem made me feel like I am not the only one and that there is somewhere in the world that will fully accept me for me so I thank you for that.
With appreciation,
Corrin
Grade 8
Wexford, PA
From Celeste, Grade 12
Dear Claudia Castro Luna,
Hello! My name is Celeste and I am a senior at Mt. Carmel High School. As a part of National Poetry month, my teacher, M. Lamphiere-Tamayoshi, had us respond to some poems. I picked your poem “Asi”. The poem really stuck with me because as crazy as it seems, a place really can make one feel accepted. For me that place is my high school theater. It really makes me feel like I could be myself. What place accepted you? Do you think that it was the people there that made it feel that way, or was it just the place itself? For me I would say it’s a combination of the two. The two work together to make the theater feel like a safe place. Did this place of yours help you learn more about yourself? I think the Theater opened up some parts of me that I didn’t even know existed. It made me realize that I am a very empathetic person. It made me realize that it’s ok to feel. I wonder if your place did the same for you. Thank you for writing your piece. It made me realize that other people can also be influenced by a place. Thank you.
Sincerely,
Celeste
Grade 12
San Diego, CA
From Vivienne, Grade 6
Dear Ms. Luna,
I wish I didn’t care what others thought of me. I yearn to live in my own perfect universe, sheltered and protected from criticism. But my haven was shattered into shards of glass a long, long time ago. At first, I didn’t notice the changes. It was like reality chipped away my shield piece by piece, like how the shore is chipped away by the waves. For the first time, I put more effort into dressing nicely. I started worrying about my appearance, wondering if I looked nice. I started to listen to the little voice inside my head that told me I wasn’t pretty enough, smart enough, or athletic enough. I always felt that I had to prove myself to everyone, so I started to brag. As a result, I became more and more aware of my faults. I got swept up and carried away in this endless cycle of constantly comparing and competing. But then, I read your poem Asi, and something in me changed.
I am self-conscious about how I look. In my opinion, how your hair looks affects how you look in general. But I didn’t like my hair much. I had been gifted with thick, dark brown hair that was almost black at the roots but eventually faded to a muted shade at the tips. I disliked how my hair was always half wavy, half straight. No matter how much I combed it, the middle layer of my hair would never lay straight. To make matters worse, because my hair was so thick sometimes after I blow dried my hair it would be bushy. But in your poem there is a beautiful line that says “The city that said, “Me gustas asi,” don’t comb down anything, don’t tame nothing, pa’que?” Through that line you showed me that I shouldn’t change my hair, and I shouldn’t change who I am.
I am self-conscious about my history and culture. My parents came to the United States of America from Wuhan, China, for their advanced degrees. I was born here in Virginia, so therefore I am American by birthright. I grew up in America, but I visit China every other summer. To me, there are two halves of me. There is the Chinese half, and the American half. I speak Chinese fluently, but my Chinese is much, much worse than my English. My family also celebrates a mix of holidays. On one hand, we celebrate Thanksgiving and Halloween, but we also celebrate Lunar New Year and the Autumn Moon Festival. I sometimes feel like there are two different parts of me. But in your poem you manage to acknowledge both parts of you seamlessly. It was after reading your poem that I realized I am not two separate people, but one person. “This continent plus that continent, together, on y va ensemble, vamos juntos, side of me.” I am China and the U.S. together, Yīqǐ. I am Chinese-American.
I am self-conscious about who I am. I am both the artful strokes of the Chinese characters, and the lines and curves of the American alphabet. I am both the athlete, loud, fierce, and bold, and the musician, mild, quiet, and shy. I am both the ideal daughter, polite, thoughtful, and loving, and the awkward teenager, headstrong, adventurous, and self-conscious. I am caught up between the different parts of me, the artist, the athlete, the daughter, the friend, the sister, the musician, the “genius”. I don’t know which part of me I should show to others. Do I try to be the best at everything or do I choose a couple of skills to perfect? When someone asks me to describe myself, what do I say? How do I express myself? Who am I, really? I found my answer in this line, “The leaf, the branch, the trunk, the root, the tree, all of it, I am all of it.” I am who I am. I am all of it.
I want to thank you for what you have shown me. You have granted me with a better understanding of who I am as a person. I will try not to be self-conscious about my identity and the aspects of me that make up who I am. With your words, you have shown me that I no longer need to care so much about what others think of me. You have shown me that I am both Chinese and American at the same time. But most of all, you have shown me that I don’t need to put a label on who I am. I am all of it, too. How do you write such inspiring poetry? How do you manage to think of what to write? What is some advice you could give a young aspiring writer like me? What do you hope to accomplish with your poems? Because by writing Asi, you made me slow down and really think about who I am and who I want to be. Your poem has helped me better understand myself. Thank you.
Sincerely,
Vivienne
Grade 6
Washington, DC
From Kristen, Grade 11
Dear Ms. Luna,
I’m Kristen, a high school Junior now studying in the Barstow School, Kansas City. I came from Wuhan, China. After reading so many poems, I think your work “Asi” resonates with me most, as in multiple aspects. When I was listening to you read aloud, I had infinite association to each sentence and each word, making my personal experience and psychology be involved with it.
The reason I first noticed you and your poem on the site is that I found the name of the poem in Spanish. Although I am an international student from China, I studied Spanish for two years in high school. As a pragmatist, the reason why I chose Spanish as my second foreign language in the first place is because it is widely used. Prior to this I had no systematic knowledge of Spanish and the countries in which it was spoken. And because I grew up in a non-immigrant country, where I had little exposure to foreigners and languages other than English. I can't even tell Spanish from other indo-european languages by sound. I've only heard a little bit of “rolling the R” that bothers a lot of people. In high school Spanish classes, in addition to basic vocabulary and grammar, our teacher uses the history of the South American country as a lesson plan and continues to show us documentaries about its history. Only then did I realize the beauty of this language in essence, its inside story and the precipitation. In the process of learning, I also fell in love with the pronunciation of this language. Every time I touched the tip of my tongue, the vibration affected my whole body and soul.
Your poem makes clear its subject from the beginning, “this is the city” proves what the poem was written to embellish. You then connect the city with yourself, showing your leisure being in the city, with romantic and refreshing language, expressing love. Reading your words, I seem to be in an empty street. In my imagination, this street originated in the city where I live in a place I am familiar with. I stood in the middle of the street with my eyes closed and my chin lifted, the wind blowing through my hair. The leaves, the stumps, all words became tangible. I am from the city of Wuhan, and I presume everyone should have known what has happened in this city recently. It has gone from being a small city in international obscurity to a familiar “cosmopolitan city”, for which it has been blamed. As a native of Wuhan, I am living in a foreign country, so I can't help my hometown I love so much which is now in danger. I was resigned to watching the city's name become synonymous with a human disaster. Wuhan is a city with so many beautiful things to be praised. Its long history of culture, architecture, traditional food and its rapid development of urban construction in recent years are all worthy of far-fame. However, everything was ruined in a sudden.
In addition, your poems repeatedly emphasize concepts such as “original appearance” and “let nature take its course”, while I deeply felt the value of “purity” in the process of growing up. I was a complainer a few years ago. I was always whining that I wasn't doing my best, always too worried about disappointing others. So I was always in a bad state of mind. But then one day I realized that if something was out of my control, it happens to everyone. I should try my best to do what I can, that blaming the situation will only make it more negative. From then on, I learned to let nature take its course, follow the direction of things to the best of my ability, and put myself in the purest position, making myself a mirror of everything I see. In the process of constantly telling myself to let the change of mood, I was able to let go of many things. I realized this is the development that goes with everything, the purest and best version of me. Enjoying the moment is my motto.
This is just an association of my own experiences and thoughts after listening to and reading the poem. I apologize that this may be very different from what you wrote this poem for, but I still need to offer my highest thanks. Thank you for giving me such a fresh and enjoyable feeling. I am writing this letter to share with you my understanding of the world and life as a naive high school student.
Sincerely,
Kristen
Grade 11
Kansas City, MO