I went to the worst of bars hoping to get killed. but all I could do was to get drunk again. worse, the bar patrons even ended up liking me. there I was trying to get pushed over the dark edge and I ended up with free drinks while somewhere else some poor son-of-a-bitch was in a hospital bed, tubes sticking out all over him as he fought like hell to live. nobody would help me die as the drinks kept coming, as the next day waited for me with its steel clamps, its stinking anonymity, its incogitant attitude. death doesn't always come running when you call it, not even if you call it from a shining castle or from an ocean liner or from the best bar on earth (or the worst). such impertinence only makes the gods hesitate and delay. ask me: I'm 72.
Copyright © 2005 by Charles Bukowski. From Slouching Toward Nirvana: New Poems. Reprinted with permission of HarperCollins Publishers.
a circuit, bled memory a séance of the veins, a liquid hinge Deceit, the tones of dreamed sceneries defaced by a single face and yet the day itself is more marred by these traces of fragrance chances to fathom her absence or collapse with the sap of plants and sleep, and demand of a jasmine-scented face How are you still so fragrant? An object at a morgue or an organ
From Music and Suicide by Jeff Clark. Copyright © 2004 by Jeff Clark. Reprinted by Farrar, Straus, & Giroux. All rights reserved.