Once Barbie Chang worked on a
     street named Wall

once she sprinkled her yard with
     timed water once

she wore lanyards in large rooms
     all the chairs

pointed in the direction of one
     speaker and a podium

once she stood up at the end to
     leave but everyone

else stood up and began putting
     their hands together

and that started her always wanting
     something better

Once Barbie Chang worked on a
     street named Wall

once she sprinkled her yard with
     timed water once

she wore lanyards in large rooms
     all the chairs

pointed in the direction of one
     speaker and a podium

once she stood up at the end to
     leave but everyone

else stood up and began putting
     their hands together

and that started her always wanting
     something better

My   Father’s   Frontal    Lobe—died

unpeacefully of a stroke on June 24,

2009 at Scripps  Memorial Hospital in

San Diego, California.  Born January 20,

1940, the frontal lobe enjoyed a good

life.  The frontal  lobe  loved being  the

boss.  It tried to talk again but someone

put a bag over it.  When the frontal

lobe died, it sucked in its lips like a

window pulled shut.  At the funeral for

his words, my father wouldn’t stop

talking and his love passed through me,

fell onto the ground that wasn’t there. 

I could hear someone stomping their

feet.  The body is as confusing as

language—was his frontal lobe having a

tantrum or dancing?  When I took my

father’s phone away, his words died in

the plastic coffin.  At the funeral for his

words, we argued about my

miscarriage. It’s not really a baby, he

said.  I ran out of words, stomped out

to shake the dead baby awake.  I

thought of the tech who put the wand

down, quietly left the room when she

couldn’t find the heartbeat.  I

understood then that darkness is falling

without an end.  That darkness is not

the absorption of color but the

absorption of language.

A.k.a.



          the other gold.



                    Now that’s the stuff,



                               shredded or melted



                                         or powdered



                                                 or canned.



                                                             Behold



                                         the pinnacle of man



                     in a cheeto puff!



Now that’s the stuff



                      you’ve been primed for:



                                             fatty & salty & crunchy



          and poof—gone. There’s the proof.



Though your grandmother



                        never even had one. You can’t



                                    have just one. You



                                              inhale them puff—



                                                                     after puff—



                                                                after puff—



                               You’re a chain smoker. Tongue



                      coated & coaxed



but not saturated or satiated.



                       It’s like pure flavor,



                                   but sadder. Each pink ping



                                                       in your pinball-mouth



                                                                expertly played



                             by the makers who have studied you,



                               the human animal, and culled



                    from the rind



         your Eve in the shape



                                 of a cheese curl.



                                              Girl,



                                come curl in the dim light of the TV.



                           Veg out on the verge of no urge



                  of anything.



         Long ago we beached ourselves,



                                 climbed up the trees then



                                          down the trees,



                                                knuckled across the dirt



                               & grasses & thorns & Berber carpet.



                                           Now is the age of sitting,



                                   so sit.



           And I must say,



                       crouched on the couch like that,



                             you resemble no animal.



                                    Smug in your Snuggie and snug



                                                     in your sloth, you look



                                           nothing like a sloth.



           And you are not an anteater,



                                   an anteater eats ants



                                                   without fear



                                       of diabetes. Though breathing,



                 one could say, resembles a chronic disease. 



                                                                                            What’s real



                             cheese and what is cheese product?



                              It’s difficult to say



               but being alive today



                                      is real-



                                                real-



                                                       really



                                like a book you can’t put down, a stone



                       that plummets from a great height. Life’s



                      a “page-turner” alright.



               But don’t worry



                                      if you miss the finale



                                                of your favorite show, you can



                                                   catch in on queue. Make room



                                      for me and I’ll binge on this,



                                                            the final season with you.