Mother doesn't want a dog.
Mother says they smell,
And never sit when you say sit,
Or even when you yell.
And when you come home late at night
And there is ice and snow,
You have to go back out because
The dumb dog has to go.
Mother doesn't want a dog.
Mother says they shed,
And always let the strangers in
And bark at friends instead,
And do disgraceful things on rugs,
And track mud on the floor,
And flop upon your bed at night
And snore their doggy snore.
Mother doesn't want a dog.
She's making a mistake.
Because, more than a dog, I think
She will not want this snake.
From If I Were in Charge of the World and Other Worries . . ., published by Macmillan, 1981. Used with permission.
Everything’s wrong,
Days are too long,
Sunshine’s too hot,
Wind is too strong.
Clouds are too fluffy,
Grass is too green,
Ground is too dusty,
Sheets are too clean.
Stars are too twinkly,
Moon is too high,
Water’s too drippy,
Sand is too dry.
Rocks are too heavy,
Feathers too light,
Kids are too noisy,
Shoes are too tight.
Folks are too happy,
Singin’ their songs.
Why can’t they see it?
Everything’s wrong!
From Where the Sidewalk Ends, thirtieth-anniversary special edition by Shel Silverstein. Copyright © 2004 by Shel Silverstein. Reprinted by permission of HarperCollins Publishers. No part of this book may be used or reproduced without written permission from HarperCollins Publishers,
1350 Avenue of the Americas, New York, NY 10019. All rights reserved.