Always at dusk, the same tearless experience,
The same dragging of feet up the same well-worn path
To the same well-worn rock;
The same crimson or gold dropping away of the sun
The same tints—rose, saffron, violet, lavender, grey
Meeting, mingling, mixing mistily;
Before me the same blue black cedar rising jaggedly to a point;
Over it, the same slow unlidding of twin stars,
Two eyes, unfathomable, soul-searing,
Watching, watching—watching me;
The same two eyes that draw me forth, against my will dusk after dusk;
The same two eyes that keep me sitting late into the night, chin on knees
Keep me there lonely, rigid, tearless, numbly miserable,
—The eyes of my Regret.
This poem is in the public domain. Published in Poem-a-Day on February 18, 2023, by the Academy of American Poets.
It is so strange,
the photograph
I was given of you,
because the man in it
is me
and not me.
It is me
in costume
it is me at a distance
squinted into focus.
Everything
I do not know
about myself
has been buried
with you.
As I
settle
into a man
I do not know
I’ve become
a mystery
to myself.
How many times
have I laughed
coughed
whispered
heard
your voice
echoing through me.
How many times
have I missed you
waving back at me
from behind
every mirror
while I
shaved
washed my hands
cut my hair.
How many times
have you touched me
with my own hand.
My inheritance
probably lies
in habits
that annoy me the most.
The sound
I make
clearing my throat
the broad toss
of my chest
when I walk
or the desolate
silence
we shared in our heads
in our empty rooms
in our isolated youth.
How many times
have we been
so alone
we overlooked
one another
standing
as close
as any man
can
to his own
shadow.
From Black Steel Magnolias In the Hour of Chaos Theory. Copyright © 2018 by James Cagney. Published by Nomadic Press. Reprinted by permission of the publisher.
Only name the day, and we'll fly away In the face of old traditions, To a sheltered spot, by the world forgot, Where we'll park our inhibitions. Come and gaze in eyes where the lovelight lies As it psychoanalyzes, And when once you glean what your fantasies mean Life will hold no more surprises. When you've told your love what you're thinking of Things will be much more informal; Through a sunlit land we'll go hand-in-hand, Drifting gently back to normal. While the pale moon gleams, we will dream sweet dreams, And I'll win your admiration, For it's only fair to admit I'm there With a mean interpretation. In the sunrise glow we will whisper low Of the scenes our dreams have painted, And when you're advised what they symbolized We'll begin to feel acquainted. So we'll gaily float in a slumber boat Where subconscious waves dash wildly; In the stars' soft light, we will say good-night— And “good-night!” will put it mildly. Our desires shall be from repressions free— As it's only right to treat them. To your ego's whims I will sing sweet hymns, And ad libido repeat them. With your hand in mine, idly we'll recline Amid bowers of neuroses, While the sun seeks rest in the great red west We will sit and match psychoses. So come dwell a while on that distant isle In the brilliant tropic weather; Where a Freud in need is a Freud indeed, We'll always be Jung together.
From Not Much Fun: The Lost Poems of Dorothy Parker published by Scribner. Used by permission of the publisher.