Who am I?
Someone who kisses your shoulder when they’re not supposed to.
I’m wearing high heels by the pool so that makes everything OK.
Now don’t be charming, darling.
There could be a lot of smashed vases in our future.

What should I do? Mind my manners?
I’m the type of person to lose an emerald ring.
I might drop it in my champagne and drink it.
How can I be such a swine?
Oh, darling. I hate to be thirsty.

Why do you insist on breaking my tiaras?
Baby, it’s not good for you to be so evil.
Darling, you have such a soft belly.
I always want to cut a soft belly. I can’t help it.
No, don’t try to get away.

Nothing’s wrong with you, so, congratulations.
What will you do now?
Stand on the balcony looking good?
Nothing’s wrong with you and I like it.
I’ll take your silence as a non-goodbye.

I get lonelier and lonelier and then I eat all the pink capsules for dinner.
How come I never get any telegrams?
It’s surprisingly easy to be enraged in a ruffled dress.
Look at yourself in the reflection of your flask.
You used to be a hobby of mine.

People in their nightgowns, smoking cigarettes,
they give great speeches.
I like it like upside-down sunsets.
I like it like a mess of emeralds.
I like it when you gesture from your forehead, “So long!”

Darling, I want you to buy me a car in my favorite color.
My favorite color is wine.
Also, give me a flower in a paper cup.
You shouldn’t ever leave me.
That’s a way to get your tuxedo cried on.

Darling, why don’t we share adjoining rooms?
Let’s get stewed to the eyeballs.
Now let’s have a fight while I brush my hair.
Can you be trusted?
So why don’t you come over to our table and introduce yourself?