space girl: prologue
by Dynas Johnson
the author of our textbooks spilled bleach onto the pages so the students got sick the more
they tried to understand in classrooms with barred windows and no paper or pencils
teachers try to reach the children but the children know where they’re headed space girl knows
once while reading about the origins of her nation she realized that she didn’t see herself anywhere
when she raised her hand and asked her teachers they didn’t know either told her she asked
too many questions
what no one had to tell her is that anytime her people are seen anywhere it’s as shadows
no one had to tell her why the people in blue be snatching starlets that it only takes a shiny silver projectile to turn a light into a ghost mothers dream of stardust across the black
concrete when friends and family erect another memorial of stuffed animals space girl counts
the new gaps in the cosmos wonders what happens when stars are snuffed out at every corner store there’s at least twenty ghosts smoking cigarettes or dancing while their aunties and uncles and
cousins recite their stories
the women she knows are all half-there happy or halfway gone she only knows because
they have the strong habit of attending church and praying every night but their dreams are still held
up somewhere their youth gone and nothing to show for it except children that don’t speak
to each other and men who don’t know how to hold them because the world never gave them
anything except the fear that anything held will be taken
space girl knew from a young age that the place that she lived in didn’t want her kind space girl
stopped caring about approval space girl was worried about finding the ghosts that left her behind
space girl wanted to know why her momma couldn’t sleep at night anymore and why her daddy told her to be careful when she left the house when she told
her momma and daddy that she dreamed
of going back home that she wanted to take them somewhere better they told her to save up money
to buy a house go to school and get a good education go further than us
when they gave her her name they it over and over again a prayer so that at least if she fell
she’d be strong enough to rise again
space girl has been doing her research space girl knew that the textbooks were written by the same
people who want her gone space girl watched her neighborhood slowly disappear beneath billboards
and new roads and pretty new condos space girl wanted to know why they were trying so hard
remapping the narrative space girl decided that she was going to find out why when the world told her
that her constellation was a mistake she smiled
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