In Yesterday

by Dani Fruehan

somewhere there is a polished pebble
begging to be rock somewhere there is
me yearning to roll in a bed of stones
for the pressure            stand on my head
to feel the blood to feel the everything
In my everything aching           my nothing
waking up every day In bright light
filtered through so many curtains.

somewhere his slack jaw  spit   pooling
on the edges of his fat lips                   doe
eyes dumb and sagging         In yesterday
his slow angry voice                   don't say you
like it rough if you're gonna cry like this
grip tight on my wrists           white tile wall
pinned pinching               sharp   offending
softness                 hot wet breath my neck
my please stop.

if dead ants buried in threadbare carpet
still   feel    soft beneath   bare   feet    I   am
crumbling   mortar hidden behind  the  ivy
vine       spreading inside          until I crack
make  me   rock   falling   destruction    from
mountains  exploded   to   make   highways
take   me   somewhere   like   light   like   sky
breathing me in            leave me from him
until his spit dries               until it gets easier.

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