[REDACTED INTERVIEW] with "Mother"
by Kristen Tetzmann
Interviewer: What is the best part of filming?
Mother:
My favorite part of filming
is halfway through, after we've
restarted the scene three or four times
and people are getting tired. I close
my eyes and begin again with new
life—a mustered resolve to continue
past fumbled lines and ill-timed
cues—I'm the glue: I order
coffees for the crew, slip my son
an upper and forehead kiss, palm
the middle child a pill or two for pain,
dab the corners of the eldest's mouth,
and remind the father-not-father
how proud we'll be—
once we end this scene.
Interviewer: Would you say you were born to play this role of "Mother"?
Mother:
Plucked from her blood
-pooled belly—I saved
my mother's life once
I started to weep—
Interviewer: But the role?
Mother:
—was made for me
it isn't a secret.
I am the reason
for all other reasons,
for this show's existence.
Interviewer: What has been your favorite episode to film so far?
The one called "Mom, I'm _________!" where I play a therapist, maid, stylist, chef, professor, security guard, accountant, mechanic, plumber, artist, and carpenter. Each time I'm asked to perform another task I put on the gear over my job's previous getup. One after the other I stretch the fabric out until I'm wearing all the hats and costumes at once. Do you remember that one episode in that one sitcom where the main character wears a fat suit? It's a tainted memory or a faint nightmare. This episode is kind of like that but far more progressive. The family needs me—or, my character—to do everything for them everyday, all the time, perfectly, and I do—she does! She does it all.
Interviewer: What are you most looking forward to this season?
Mother:
There's one with the son
and a fox in the road—expect
corkscrew tears tumbling
down peach-jelled cheeks,
then the frame spirals with
the son's interiority: a storm
of pulped yellow tomatoes
and watermelon—be careful
not to get too close
or one might get stung
by the middle daughter who
paints a white-tailed deer
on all our backs—everyone's
come back after a big conflict
near the middle-end of the season
and the eldest unpledges her silence,
shreds us apart with her fake
front teeth—it's sure to leave
viewers at the edge of their frayed
bouquets—wondering what could
possibly save this family
from their own immolation?