when I become the sandstone
by Hannah Troy
make sure they scream out my name when I become the sandstone
when the rock comes for my arms
the ones I’ve hated since I was thirteen
tell the stories about my life
and the kindness I always tried to give
when the rock comes for my legs, tell people who are around that I used them
to move and explore
and forget
about the part where I never let myself rest
when the rock comes for my belly
talk about the children I didn’t bear because I was an independent woman
don’t talk about my fear of the world we live in
or the guilt I carried for not trying sooner
when the rock comes for my chest share the stories of
all the love I had
leave out the bits about people that hurt me
and definitely don’t mention anything about the ones I hurt more
finally, when the sandstone comes for my head
filling my mouth with quartz and feldspar
don’t let them know how I always doubted myself
and made myself feel like less
instead
just tell them how I tried