Kiddush Levana
by Jupiter Nesky
[God said to Noah,] ‘For My part, I am about to bring the Flood – waters
upon the earth – to destroy all flesh under the sky in which there is breath
of life; everything on earth shall perish.’
—Genesis 6:17, Revised JPS
Slavoj Žižek once wrote that ‘radical’ or ‘pure’ autism brings about the
‘total destruction of the symbolic universe’ (75). I cannot deny a feeling of
pride at his trust in my apocalyptic abilities.
—Anna N. de Hooge on The Sublime Object of Ideology
It is often said that the ‘end of the world’ is approaching – but whose
world, exactly, is expected to end?
—Audra Mitchell and Aadita Chaudhury, “white apocalyptic visions and BIPOC futurisms”
1
My teachers say, “America is the bravest country, flood and flurry,
hustle and guns, Yiddish, English, the diaspora.”
I say, raven. I say, dove.
I say glint and glisten
and geyser.
2
What, child, is the gray of your smallest love?
What stims? What stimmed? What stimming?
I say spite and sorrow
and sibilance and stick
figure. I say, stretch. I say,
stupid. I say squander
and stereo. I say staccato
and serenade and sweat.
Smart girl. Slight stutter.
3
In the event
of calamity, of holocaust,
I think of
birds flocking amid
torrential rain, ashes,
I think of
a sorcerer’s blank eye, the head of a nail,
a devil’s intricate heart—nonsense imagery—
magic, myth. If
moonlight on water is light
talking to itself, moonlight
lapping at the stars is light
talking to God. God,
and the dusk, the dawning sky,
gold on gold, and the sun,
the final word:
“The soul!” I called out, like an idiot. “Good
grief. What do you want from me? What?”
And yes, tonight, instead of autistic,
stolen time, scatter, I am reborn,
sublime, soulless.
The sky is empty like
the center of a wheel.
The sky glistens, still,
like a mouth.
4
Give praise, all you angels—
Give praise, all divine hosts—
the world has, again,
ended in disaster. Every day
the world begins anew.
There is no such thing as the human.
Only just. Barely. Hardly. But not,
never, fully pragmatic.
Give praise, mountains and hills—
Give praise, all bright stars—
Uriel speaks
to the wild raven:
The wind, faint at
first, bickered at
nothing
until a gale forced
you from the rippling
waters.
You flew
then glided
suddenly and for
the first time.
Your wings
beat against
the breeze.
Once, at lunch, my aunt snuck protein
powder into my apple juice as she
described an autistic girl, skittish, smart,
who interned at NASA, lived alone,
drove a flashy car.
In a happier life, in the streets
of death / in
the streets of money—
Give praise!
Give praise!
Uriel speaks
to the wild dove:
At last, the rain
stopped,leaving only
silence.
Youwatched the
oceanchurn in slow
currents
and you thought. You
watched clouds drift, and
thought.
Youwatched the dawn,
the dusk, and thought until
you forgot you were thinking.
Then you just watched.
“After the Holocaust,” my teachers say,
“the United States was the only
country to take us—
yes?”
Yes, I say.
All fruit trees and cedars, all wild and tamed animals,
all princes of the earth. Give praise. Give praise.
Give praise, fire and hail, snow and smoke, all heavens,
waters that are above the heavens….!
Oh, land of the free:
I once read a poem that said
the largest star will explode, shattering, but we won’t
know until the light reaches us. Give praise!—
Give praise!—
- epilogue -
And as
And as
the USA
swallows
the earth
a thousand
times
Did you know
Did you know
the richest man in the world
right now
is autistic
darting eyes
vicious smile
As billionaires climb
As billionaires climb
Jacob’s Ladder into
mars jupiter neptune
and higher
and higher
Give praise!—