elegy
by Safa Khatib
for amarnath ghosh
outside the church that was once the Tivoli Theater,
the eyes of the blackbirds on the roadside
remind me of the eyes of Iblis,
devoted only to the Impermanence of fire…
*
the a/c hums in my St Louis apartment,
once a world's fair hotel, where there is still time
to imagine you behind me––your kohled eyes, your pair of anklets––
as i hold a mirror to keep you in view
while Catastrophe leans against the door in her silver shawl…
*
there is still time to refuse
the difference between this door and the door
of a bombed house in Nablus
or the door to that New Orleans bar
where i listened to the new quartet
rehearse Cortôla's "Alvorada" and overheard
a woman behind me saying
to someone i couldn't see
girl you don't get it, i just worked and worked
hasta que me mataron
then i came here to dance with you
*
there is still time to think
of the woman nights earlier
at the Cafe Envie, who'd said
i wish i would have known
that after i fucked him i would take
his demons, which will not leave me
while her friend laughed
and held her hand
and said you must understand your wounds
are yours to touch—
*
the interior is no refuge
it is a window
there is still time
to listen for your soft voice
singing somewhere after america
there will be music