Emotions
by Makayla Lachelle Scott
Past:
God I’m scared lowkey not gon lie.
I think I’m broken or something cause I don’t think this is normal.
The one emotion that I don’t have trouble feeling is anxiety at the moment which sucks.
As for other emotions I don’t really know how to explain it, but here’s the best way I can.
I know that I should feel these emotions so I show those emotions, but I don’t really feel it like in here I guess (stabs finger where a heart is supposed to be).
I just discovered that I have insanely dark humor, like some of the things that I laugh at should not be laughed at.
If I listed the things I would be cancelled instantly and shunned from society as a whole
I don’t know if I like people for real or if I just tolerate them because they’re like everywhere.
My mom thinks I’m depressed because I stay in my room all day and only come outside to eat, do dishes, or hang out occasionally.
I like being alone though and I don’t like getting close to people because what’s the point if we’re all going to die anyway.
All that hard work to build a relationship for nothing you know, but you’re so right that’s a terrible mindset to have.
Imma work on it (Gives a thumbs up and a smile).
Present:
I don’t know if it’s just me, but emotions are hard.Like sometimes I don’t be thinkin or feelin anything when I do certain things.
Is that concerning?
I know I should feel some typa way about certain things and situations sometimes, but I don’t and it kinda freaks me out not gon lie.
Like I should be mo mad about some things, but instead I’m over here concerned about the people who did ME wrong.
I smile and laugh in situations where I’m dead serious.
(Whispers) That’s just the crazy showing, don't mind her.
I guess that’s a step in the right direction though because at least we care about things now.
I’ve had this issue for a while and I’ve been praying to God about it, but sometimes it feels like I’m too far gone for help.
I still have hope though and we gettin better and improving day by day.
Emotions are slowly regulating and we’re feeling things so yay (insert applause).
It’s mostly negative emotions though (applause dies down).
But aye it’s still emotions so it counts yay (applause returns).
A Possible Time In the Future:
Guess who’s mentally and emotionally stable (points at myself).