I'm ready now
by Sambhavi Jayashree Ashok
I'm ready now.
Paint me in white
fill my mud in with pristine clouds
take me from earth to angelic heaven
bathe me in bleach
I'll help you scrape the skin away.
I'm ready now.
You can pull my tongue
and place your words in it and
I'll swallow it and repeat
in acceptable English
"can I get a iced caramel latte?"
and you can correct me and say
"an iced"
and I'll feign apologies
that you'll mock anyway.
Latte.
Kaapi.
Chai Tea.
Adrak vaali chai.
I won’t ask for what I want
I’ll ask for what I’m supposed to want
you won’t have to train me again
I’m a well-bred mutation of my blood.
Aap keh do aur main karoongi.
Language was never supposed to be the pen
it was supposed to be the paper
so why now, has this sword become one tone?
I shouldn’t ask these questions if I want to survive,
These doubts can only be said in words they won’t understand.
ये क्या बकवास हैं यार
Poetry.
Shayari.
Love.
Mohabbat.
But I’m ready now.
They’ve bought my speech
the very words I speak,
they’ve re-stitched my skin,
into a crystal quartz tapestry
I’m ready now?
What’s left to convert-adapt
just tell me parts,
I’ll sell them to you
you can tear it all apart.
We hear them talk about
“it’s a shame those hindus tryna convert muslims”
“muslims killin’ if people don’t”
“what a sad story,
people should be free”
“here people are free.”
I stuff down my laughter
ये लोग क्या कह रहे हैं kuch bhi nahi jaante
क्या-what-what are these people talking?
Chains consume my lungs as I
strip
myself
of reaction.
I’m ready now
deep breath in
white breath out.
The English language is a religion
one we must all learn
convert
abide
survive.
I’m ready now.
अपने भाषा सब भूल जाओ
भूल जाओ nah?
भूल ज- भूल ज-
forभूलget - forभूलget
forभूलget your bhaasha, uh bhaasha, bhaasha LANGUAGE
भूforget your language
भूforgot, fforget
Forget
भूल-forget
Forget forget forget it.