Permission

by Sarah Marks

 

Inspired by the style of Ross Gay

 





This road was once well travelled, but now

banana leaves carpet it into a path

soft of sponge

and dead leaf litter and the scent of

wet stray cats

permeates everything.



The bike was trusty

albeit rusty

but rode it I still did

thumping along

what a trooper it was

tired handlebars, seat sucking up water

and spitting it back out between the knobs of rubber, cracks

in the tires and in the faint pavement deep beneath

visible still where the banana leaves won't quite

cover up everything the past had in mind

here on Hurricane Road, what a name! and

sometimes it does indeed storm,

when the wind

flings off the banana leaves, and raindrops ricochet,

the sky looks like a giant ball of yarn tossed to and fro

by a kitten, wretched and wet,

maybe the kind you used to lift up by the scruff

of its neck when you

were just a little thing yourself,

in a storm like this.

rivulets of runoff carve little canyons

into the seat-of-your-pants-staining clay on the sloped gutter sides of this path 

that I am not allowed

to access

not back when it was a banana farm,

not now, in its up-and-coming remodel to glory,

and not ever

since it's land

land that's not mine to own,

even if it's not anybody else's

to own, either,

at least that's how I'd think of it

and I ride on it every day, not once but twice,

the Rod and Gun club to my left, POW POW!

Men shooting!

locked gates

perpendicular to the banana leaf carpet,

cows awaiting slaughter in the field

(not from the Rod and Gun club men)

At least I don't think -- maybe that's how Hanakua Farm makes money

by letting butchering and pleasure mix

which it never should

For blood must be spilled by those who don't want to

and ideally, only those who need to

a tortured livestock farmer is a good livestock farmer

cows looking at me with blank

eyes in chest-deep Guinea Grass patches, that are only

not too prickly to bear

if you're a cow -- and they wait, as little

white birds claim their backs as a perch

mooing at the bicyclist clanking by

and in my head I recite the words gifted

to a friend, of a friend, to me, long ago,

whilst laughing --

Mike Furukawa told me it was okay,

in reference, of course, to trespassing,

this back road shortcut, and Mike may now be dead,

of course

but as long as you say it came to you

in a dream

with eyes that say they really believe it

the ghost of Mike will not come back to haunt you

and you may travel this road with only minor worry


and shelter under a thick banana vine

when the morning monsoon opens daily

and the back tire loses its last breath of air

 





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