رحم // mercy
by Farah Bassyouni
The word ‘رحم’ (rah-hem) in Arabic often means ‘mercy’ and comes from one of God’s names, ‘الرحمان’ (ar-rahman) or ‘the most merciful one’. It is also the word for ‘womb’ or ‘uterus’, because it is with mercy that we are born. To be merciful is to be compassionate and experience another person without judgment. To experience another person without judgment is to be a mother, or a daughter.
i hope you find yourself in the way i
rub cream on my face every night before bed
lovely, just like you did
i hope you find yourself in the way i brush my hair
gently, never like you did
find me in tea and milk in the morning
with never the right amount of honey
i’ll still make it for you
i know you’ll make it for me too
find me wrapped up in your bathrobe
the yellow and white flowers you gave to me
i know you would like them back
but you gave them to me anyway
find me in the way i take care of my nails
because i never wanted them to look like yours
will you let me do your nails for you?
do you like them just the way they are?
find me in the way i love my partners
the way i release you into every friend i have ever met
find me in the way i still ache when you cry
you make a face that shows a lifetime of pain
what did you go through
i already know. we have been together
since you were a baby. since i was.
find yourself in me the way
i find myself in you
and out of my womb
i will give birth to you again
i will reach out and wrap you in yellow and white flowers
welcome you back into me
brush your hair
make you tea
put my hand on your forehead and speak the words of god
and hope you sleep fondly
i love you as i love myself
with difficulty and intent