In Need Of Being Thawed

by Natasha Villegas

To feel again.
Someone. Something 
Anything. Anything. 
To get high off of life
 Roses do not cut it for me anymore
To fall off a plane into the abyss 
Let the rush of possibly meeting
Death in the strawberry fields where I will
Hopefully land inspire me 
To inject adrenaline into my veins 
And become addicted to chance. 
I want to feel the heat singe my feet 
As they snuggle their way deep into the sand 
As I watch 
The sun dive into the water on the edge of the world
For a swim that will last 12 hours. 
I want my stomach to become a butterfly garden 
Filled with the wings flapping within me
My heartbeat acting as the wind to move them around my body—
Feeling the rush of a crush,
The rush of getting crushed
By a crush.
I crave the feeling of your hands—
The colder than doctors hands to
Unhook my bra and see 
Just how wild I can be.
To run naked into the ocean,
Diving in head first and seeing nothing but pitch black,
The fear that an unknown creature could swallow me whole, 
The dimples of my back absorbing the waves 
Letting the sting of the cold Pacific turn into a warm stew 
From when you jump in after me
Holding me. 
To feel again.
Someone. Something 
Anything. Anything

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