Linguistic Rewilding
by Clayre Benzadon
fragment
-ation:
a dream as loose
as incomprehensible
wobbles like teeth
falling out depleted
like power outage
langu age cut
from gum bomb
illa
encendida inside the mouth
like lengua as an automatic
incendiary tool
como trozos de carne asada
con sabor carnal ass-heavy
unintentionally fuerte
like frag ments
as
grenade meant
as strong as
mints
--
with the replacement
of just a few letters
letra / let her/
roar
how can la libertad be a woman
when she is basura / cocina / doméstica
--
to preserve something
means to serve before
anything else,
mantener como
una manta manchada
and to keep
using it
like a woman,
mugre, trap-
o sucio,
hasta que convierte
en mugre.
--
Perra sucia.
it’s easy to convert
the vowel from “o”
to “a”, to swap the sound
when it’s convenient.
the masculine form
is standard. the language
regulator is El and he
is my father telling me
así no es como sienta
una señorita, as if there
were no room for women
to feel. the “ita” is only
added as a kindness.
I sit pretty, even when
“los hombres”, used to
mean “people”,
does not include me,
and “hembra” merely
refers to female animals,
is slang for chick.
When I’m a girl, I take the spanish
into my mouth and it sparkles.
I leave my door open
when I change and my
father walks past me as
I strip into a
nude sparkler,
just like the words
I play with are,
bare in mi mano
desnudo.
he barely sees me
but still flinches.
before he can say anything,
I yell: esto es todo lo que
puede hacer una mujer,
ella puede hacer
lo que le da la ganas
con su propio cuerpo,
lengua.
I restore a remnant of
my tongue, my self—
the salvaje refuses
to leave me.
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