"I cannot go to school today,"
Said little Peggy Ann McKay.
"I have the measles and the mumps,
A gash, a rash and purple bumps.
My mouth is wet, my throat is dry,
I'm going blind in my right eye.
My tonsils are as big as rocks,
I've counted sixteen chicken pox
And there's one more—that's seventeen,
And don't you think my face looks green?
My leg is cut—my eyes are blue—
It might be instamatic flu.
I cough and sneeze and gasp and choke,
I'm sure that my left leg is broke—
My hip hurts when I move my chin,
My belly button's caving in,
My back is wrenched, my ankle's sprained,
My 'pendix pains each time it rains.
My nose is cold, my toes are numb.
I have a sliver in my thumb.
My neck is stiff, my voice is weak,
I hardly whisper when I speak.
My tongue is filling up my mouth,
I think my hair is falling out.
My elbow's bent, my spine ain't straight,
My temperature is one-o-eight.
My brain is shrunk, I cannot hear,
There is a hole inside my ear.
I have a hangnail, and my heart is—what?
What's that? What's that you say?
You say today is. . .Saturday?
G'bye, I'm going out to play!"

Granny’s come to our house,
    And ho! my lawzy-daisy!
All the childern round the place
    Is ist a-runnin’ crazy!
Fetched a cake fer little Jake,
    And fetched a pie fer Nanny,
And fetched a pear fer all the pack
    That runs to kiss their Granny!

Lucy Ellen’s in her lap,
    And Wade and Silas Walker
Both’s a-ridin’ on her foot,
    And ’Pollos on the rocker;
And Marthy’s twins, from Aunt Marinn’s,
    And little Orphant Annie,
All’s a-eatin’ gingerbread
    And giggle-un at Granny!

Tells us all the fairy tales
    Ever thought er wundered—
And ’bundance o’ other stories—
    Bet she knows a hunderd!—
Bob’s the one fer “Whittington,”
    And “Golden Locks” fer Fanny!
Hear ’em laugh and clap their hands,
    Listenin’ at Granny!

“Jack the Giant-Killer” ’s good;
    And “Bean-Stalk” ’s another!—
So’s the one of “Cinderell’”
    And her old godmother;—
That-un’s best of all the rest—
    Bestest one of any,—
Where the mices scampers home
    Like we runs to Granny!

Granny’s come to our house,
    Ho! my lawzy-daisy!
All the childern round the place
    Is ist a-runnin’ crazy!
Fetched a cake fer little Jake,
    And fetched a pie fer Nanny,
And fetched a pear fer all the pack
    That runs to kiss their Granny!