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2023 Academy of American Poets Prize

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Guzzle

by Hassaan Mirza
 

In poetry seminars, we scooped goat cheese & zaytoon with naan bread. Or was it pita? Lahmacun or Pantoum? We pantalooned with non guzzles: without takhalus, qafiyah, without the leftover call of the radif. Was erasure solely of the tennis net when we saloned without radif? When it became obvious غ was missing from the smorgasbord, I took a guttural roll call and its voice guttered like a motorbike on a cold morning: Here! Revving in my throat, still inside me. The sounds we make home us but how do those we can’t, dispossess? Sure— the chagrin of American undergrads over erres unrolled. An artist described how Tamils were identified for slaughter in the Sri Lankan Civil War if they erred when forced to pronounce the Sinhalese word for bucket. In the auditorium, my tongue effortlessly mouthed “baldiya” though it wasn’t in my tongue. Whose side did that put me on? During villanelle week a girl put my hand on her mouth so I could feel the V vibrating there. Pronouncing V became easier though I remain deaf to its sound. From Americans I learned to brazenly march forward even when your senses betray you. In seminar someone said “modern reader” but I heard “moderator.” A misreader offers their own truth. Still how weary I felt walking home without radif.

 

This poem first appeared in the Michigan Quarterly Review, Issue 62.3.

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