how I learned what they say
when no black people are around.
what made ordering at sizzler
less gawk fest for my family.
which gave me access
contrary to the world of 80s sitcom.
that I used like a tourist
who thinks they can move somewhere
after a nice weekend.
getting clowned for your eyes
at the sleepover
feels like being seen to the invisible.
which is better than
being esl ridiculed daily.
which is better than
being blamed for the auto industry.
which is better than
being a walking enemy of war.
which is the lie I kept scribbling
in my journal,
unaware I was writing
a postdated letter to my younger self
on how to discern
between survival & fulfillment.
From Well Played (Not a Cult, 2020) by Beau Sia. Copyright © 2020 by Beau Sia. Used with the permission of the publisher.