Summer Elegy

That you will leave, like all
things leave, that you have left, 
that you left. The lilacs brace
themselves for this sort of blue.

The howl and bloat, a mechanical
melancholy. My hobby. My horse.
That you left. An infection
of baby’s breath in your wake.

This is no ordinary square swatch.
No baby blanket. That August,
the garbage festered in Brooklyn,
as it festers every August in Brooklyn,

but no other August in Brooklyn
did you leave. The silver slide. A sad
liberation at your departure. An airy
groan. Snide whale was I. Humpback

on a playground bench. That you
left. I shushed and dug. I rattled.
An oyster in my throat. That you left.
Ribbons of sunlight varicosing

the trash bins. I said, I prefer not to say
I’ve lost a son. In spite. Despite. I said,
a very late miscarriage. I’d miscarried,
an unsafe carrier was I, a womb with

no arms, disco ball with no discs
to refract nor reflect. Was crushed.
How easy to dismiss my grief. My girl 
on the swing. Already there. Already here.

But you. Rain on the hot sidewalk.
Turned mist. Handsome aura. Gone.