I will never write like Edwin Denby.
I wouldn’t change a thing about him.
Keep being Edwin, Edwin, as effete
as a dance critic for the New York Herald Tribune.
Is being effete something you can practice, like dance steps
in private when a prima did them first?
If so, I’ve had lots and lots of practice.
I started by brushing my hair on the bus,
Two-year-old hair on a twelve-year-old head.
Then a man, a stranger, said, “I know you, boss,
you’re always brushing your hair.”
Not quite a “Put that back.” Certainly a “Hey, you,”
With a cunty something tailing the sentence like an unmarked car.
If I ran away from him, I must have done so effetely.
I ran all the way to 2011.
On the way, I passed Le Château. Remember Le Château? No, you don’t.
You’re not effete enough.
I passed uploaded videos of Eartha Kitt,
Quentin Crisp, Fran Drescher, and the female gremlin.
By then nothing seemed very effete.
I lived with a man who liked it when men
called him boss. They did it when he pumped his gas.
He said it made him feel adequate:
right size, right shape. Even the hair on his hands was right.
Some effete people keep hair on their hands.
Some effete people are women.
Scientists say: it’s the phytoestrogens in the
water supply, in Hamilton, Ontario.
Critics say: she wanted a nice life,
in Passaic, with durable consumer goods.
Are these all images of money?
I’ll never have been born to it, Edwin,
As a diplobrat in Tianjin. At the time of my
death, a Swiss boyfriend will not
describe me as a “modern who smoked
opium with Cocteau.”
I’m not effete enough.
I must do something about that.
Copyright © 2024 by Kay Gabriel. Originally published in Poem-a-Day on September 25, 2024, by the Academy of American Poets.