Untitled [I grew up in North Adams]

Brenda Iijima
With wind chill, it was 40 degrees below. It was utterly beautiful. The hawk and the eagle not having flown there then (not) visible the prints are on the snow in bright glare. (Leslie Scalapino, Dahlia's Iris, p. 104)
I grew up in North Adams. The snow on the summit is thin, frigid no humans
          self       memorial for the fallen soldiers  expropriation this land    I want 
to know why western civilization concerns itself with the individual,
individualization        elegy alone, elegy 

A way for society (power) to say, you are alone

Realizing how the stone looked covered with a primordial lake
During that time        moraine deposits        stone here from inner earth 
cataclysmic      hard and shimmering      no birds, it is much too cold

Differing body types, different   massive animals        long necks animals here 
eating the vegetation, towering, they were reptilian  human brainstem, reptilian, 
scat: dinosaur

The way is the logging road state forest no one 	missing in history
No women       there were, obviously    but missing

Summer, no birds, missing
Missing, was it acid rain?

Inside the mind, the enjoyment body
Symbols arise and text   out here, this is mind

Down now, off the precipice      to a small white house, heated
One's intrinsic awareness        white light inside the refrigerator

Vegetables waiting

More by Brenda Iijima

The Dog of Time

The dog of time pitchfork canter laced with mercury after-crave
any semblance to human is speculative, we’ve unburdened the
mass, the massive body signage, bondage, turf implant
unwiring programs and last resort paradigms
indicated by the spikes in goneness unknowable
flash how it feels to be a terminator
to be livestock replenished
caretaking around the pain
dogs of the animal in motion in deliberation
carrying on over cloud cover
as the twilight descends the animal is secreted
ocean compression and endless body spills
the edges are dissolved
animal highlight
animal awareness
animal forever
the light is diminished
water spills over and the heat is a harbinger
and who is subject to this authority
rescue and an epistemological critique
and cross a proscribed threshold where the forest once was
now an emergency living space

Related Poems

way [excerpts]

to have
seem-
ed still—
though not
wanting to
be serene
—their—

I was in school; the bus driver seeing a girl crossing the street hadn't stopped—she'd been hit—so the other students—the boys—would hit the side of the bus everyday

when we went around that corner—our understanding the driver—and clairvoyant

their—to
simply
make
that—
having
occur-
red to me

*

made—to
be con-
vention in
the present
—their—my
by myself

I was a waitress in a restaurant of a department store—and stole a dress from the store—though it was said that most of the thieves were employees

this had been said to us in the orientation meeting

to make
—as
in—their
—it
with—
a person—in
a time

*

their
to have
not
known
the same
people
throughout
a time

which is in another man—the sense of being aware—we were in bed, asleep. Outside the house an accident occurred. A huge trailer-truck crashed into the base of the overpass—no other cars were around

It was quiet—the cops coming and flashing their lights around the crumpled cab of the truck—a few of their words carrying to us

 

that—the

so-
cial world

—them—as
in it

*

weeping in the hall once—before being composed enough to unlock the door and go into the apartment—anyone being in this state


a boy—so it's in the past, though he'd said this about himself—on his father's sailboat

wanting to consider it his; his father jeering at him for that—it being fixed would be to free the past from myself (not necessarily it freed from him)—that would be the life of desire



driving away from the projects—the man seeing them

and so endangering the other men—their being benign—who are motionless outside; saying it wasn't known what people like this are going to do


*

them—as
a func-
tion
of memory
—someone—

*

meeting up
with
a person
—who's
young—being
like that
individual

*

I dreamed I was to use rags though a truck came along the street taking them off. I was looking at a river from sun windows where I saw apes that were giant—my knowing it wasn't usually seen and was germane to the rags—a giant ape that was male floating submerged on his back in very blue water, hi genitals seen—floating gently as well. Some in the group stood up wearing the khaki clothes; them walking off into the town—it occurring to me, who would be interested in rags

that—as
"cruelty" to
be learned
as a
period but
from some
individual

*

The thought of the construction workers—seeing them—having occurred then

later—events set in terms of chronology—which may be earlier in time, but emotionally are of a later age


that would be the age—which the boy on his father's sailboat

would be part of—and my being free therefore

—I'm out
walking by
myself—to be
like some
individual
—them—and
being
serene

*

I had insomnia, not because of this—the birds were on the roof, walking around—though it was night; I thought birds slept at night

it occurred to me they were like me—the reverse of me though—owing to their being in that situation


*

throwing
themselves
away
throughout
a time
occurring
for
a reason