^{after Bhanu Kapil}

 

^{For Durga, the lack of Tamil became part of her identity. She can recognize Tamil, because she is not fluent, it serves as a placeholder for an identity that is connected to language, but she does not have the ability to access.
—Christabel Devadoss, “(De)Homogenizing Diaspora: An Analysis of Indian Tamil Identities in the U.S.”}

this language a knuckle split / on the asphalt /
this language / a corner cut / this language you’ve
dug / out from beneath / other language / out from
beneath / the ugly / of your tongue / no one waiting
for this language / at the bus stop / this language
two knees / on concrete / this language a tetherball /
unwielding / language breaking / the glasses off your
face / this language a plastic ganesh / ungumming /
from the dashboard / language as god / afloat /
language as the other car / swerving / this language
unsticking / its bloodlegs / from the leather seat /
language closing /the ambulance door / this language
muscle of grief / in your mouth / this language as
wail / as the way / grief / becomes sound / when
repeated / language as first / American sweater /
language as thin /blue threads / language as beads /
scraped off / a denim skirt / language leaving its thin
/ glue prints / language as easymac / language the
last girl / eating / language the end / of a long table /
language on its knees / wiping / language you had to
dig / out from a photograph / language as amma’s
hands / pinching / language the soft / of your elbow
/ language the sari cabinet / you dug through /
searching for language / language as dirt / beneath
woodchips / language as dirt / beneath your nails /
language alone as a girl / on the playground /
language alone as a girl / digging / language as burn
hole / in the family / photograph / language i had to
breathe / language the clickstop / of the lighter /
language i had to breathe / through / my nose /
language the smoke stain / afterwards