Self-Portrait 4

translated from the Danish by Jennifer Russell and Sophia Hersi Smith

On my childhood street
lives an old woman
who remembers me
as a little girl.
I was unruly
she says
the whole building shook
when I bounded down
the stairs from the fourth floor.

This picture of me
inserts itself
and distorts
like when
a photograph is taken
on top of another.

I fear the place
I hold in other people’s
memory. They remind me
of things I have forgotten.

They stole
my face
before it was
worn out
and wear it often
on top of their own.

I don’t remember
the old woman
from my childhood
the grown-ups were all the same
and ageless.
She knows something
about me she won’t divulge
a secret I’ve never told.

It fills her up
and keeps death at bay
she tells lies and intends
to outlive me.
I never took the stairs in bounds
I was a quiet child.
I hate her.

Credit

Excerpted from THERE LIVES A YOUNG GIRL IN ME WHO WILL NOT DIE: Selected Poems by Tove Ditlevsen. Published by Farrar, Straus and Giroux. Copyright © 1939, 1942, 1947, 1955, 1961, 1969, 1973, 1978 by Tove Ditlevsen and Gyldendal, Copenhagen. English translation and Translators’ Note copyright © 2025 by Sophia Hersi Smith and Jennifer Russell. All rights reserved.