Portrait of Atlantis as a Broken Home
I swim down to
look for our four-
chambered house.
The window
in our room still leaf-
darkened, its bruiselight
charged with fault.
Am I very lonely?
I age in reverse until I am as
small as my child
body, my chest swollen
with bright longing
that the walls will not always
greet each other
in collapse—
The lord is kind.
The underworld is lit by half
-moon as if to say, none
of this is evidence,
only decay.
In the drift, this wreck still looks like a life:
everything still hanging is relieved
of its weight like an archer’s arrow
suspended in rags
of snow.
I hunt the me
that made this heavenless night,
my young fear circling your
false beacon, its low
stars and difficult earth stacked
immense against
every fact—
I should be funnier here:
Underwater, iron sinks
weightless as
a kite
plummeting
through peaks.
Copyright © 2019 by Vanessa Angélica Villarreal. Originally published in Poem-a-Day on June 25, 2019, by the Academy of American Poets.
“I wrote the first version of this poem while living in Colorado in early 2013. Newly married and homesick during an unusually dark and snowy winter, the poems I wrote during this period were affective mappings of the terrain beneath memory, its deeper ruins stored in the body. Like Lorca's idea of the cante jondo, or deep song, "where the ruins of history, the lyrical fragment eaten by the sand, appear live like the first morning of its life," this poem is denied a clear narrative and has to dive into the wreck to unearth a more visceral logic from its lyric fragments. Oddly, this poem, among others I wrote during this period, have startled me in their prescience when I come back to revise them—what the body already knows, how a poem's intelligence guides us, early as it can, toward the first morning of a new life.”
—Vanessa Angelica Villarreal