It would be water
how it comes from the sky because I am dry because
I am thirsty reaching down for roots I can feel
& up for dream & because I need the wet the release
of flood but not too much that would have been the daily
April poem then I snuck into a little place for pasta talked
myself into believing I deserved a treat thinking I was
anonymous & there was Meena’s husband David with friends
eating & laughing we greeted awkwardly I stayed at my
corner table red wine & rigatoni all I could think about was
Meena’s thick shiny nearly black hair how I didn’t manage
to visit her that last year of illness although I said I would
she sent me poem & photo told about losing her hair
I said it looks beautiful short that I was thinking of cutting
mine don’t do it she said don’t cut your hair then she
was gone her photo in my office so anyone who enters
will know her poems moving around like waves tulip
stems high pitched elegant voice articulating
how the world begins & ends how verse continues
Copyright © 2021 by Kathy Engel. Originally published in Poem-a-Day on November 23, 2021, by the Academy of American Poets.
“I try to talk with the departed. Usually near water. I wanted to talk with Meena, to tell her, honor her, thank her. Feeling her voice and poems like waves. And aware of my awkwardness in that rainy April night. The alone and the not alone. The ongoing. When and how one can or can’t show up in the way one hopes to. The liminal space between what we call living and what we call dead. What poems offer. Elegy as life force. This was an April poem and I thank, with love, Elma’s Heart Circle, with whom I write.”
—Kathy Engel