Who am I?
Someone who kisses your shoulder when they’re not supposed to.
I’m wearing high heels by the pool so that makes everything OK.
Now don’t be charming, darling.
There could be a lot of smashed vases in our future.

What should I do? Mind my manners?
I’m the type of person to lose an emerald ring.
I might drop it in my champagne and drink it.
How can I be such a swine?
Oh, darling. I hate to be thirsty.