house hunting as an act of faith

               in the dream i eat the sirens       my eyes go bloodshot & i start
               speaking     in    decibels    only    squirrels     &    vaginas     can
               hear        everythang emergency             sight of red lights criss-
               crossing makes me have to pee              some part of me always
               leaking: sweat      cherry kombucha        mysterious fluorescent
               discharge       cheap champagne        pain  liquified  &  indelible
               toughens  my  meat            but  just  when  i  think  i’m  inedible
               somebody always        nibbling at my edges        i am the square
               root of what academia alleges            my methodology is breath
               seeking a structure where i can exhale reckless         where fear
               ain’t mudded in the sheetrock & painted milk white         where
               the walls ain’t out to smother me          where the foundation is
               cracked just enough for spirit to seep in           where i can sleep
               amidst a barricade of trees &   quiet parades around the house
               disguised as technicolor sunset        disguised as deer slick with
               fog        disguised as fig bush draped in snow           disguised as
               ancestors dark & bright as—

Credit

Copyright © 2022 by t’ai freedom ford. Originally published in Poem-a-Day on August 19, 2022, by the Academy of American Poets.

About this Poem

“During the beginning of the pandemic, sirens were ever-present and a great source of anxiety for me—along with the unknowns of the virus, along with Black folks being killed during police stops. Determined to find sanctuary beyond the city, I was on the road a lot and always whispering to my ancestors to provide cover. As in, no stops by cops. As in, full speed ahead. As in, a piece of land that I could afford. In that way, this poem is a prayer, in the same way that house hunting is an act of faith.”
t’ai freedom ford