The Escape
Amused when she asks, is your wife Jewish? and, because it's easier, because I don't want to think, I answer yes. It's the first time. Later, a pushy man wants to know my son's birthday. Confused, I make him younger and the shift of dates feels so natural I let it stand. Then it's happening with family names, with where I work, how long, with whom—minor changes in my vita, small alterations, other lives, one variant for this person, another for that, as though I were picking out ballpoint pens or books, rummaging for keep-sakes to give away, a different self to each, each time. Months pass before I catch on too and admit I've done what I did out of caution, an attempt to screen the self, erase the scent, obscure the trail with a series of dead-ends until no one could thread a way ahead through those dense thickets back to me, reeking of fear. what did I think I had worth hiding and who was I trying to deceive? Tell me: surrounded by those casual lies fabricating with disarming aplomb, why didn't I ask whose escape I imagined I was fashioning?
Credit
From Time As Distance by Mark Halperin, published by New Issues Poetry and Prose. Copyright © 2001 by Mark Halperin. Used with permission. All rights reserved.
Date Published
01/01/2001