Eros
Between letting go and setting free
There was a difference I assumed
I was. Graceless. Arrogant. Venomous
As a point. Horsehair slacking. Bow
Shaking from deep within. Air cut
Without a trace. There was faith, a drawing
Close, closer, close enough, then
Too close. Hoping, missing, resuming—
Into the shadows I had taken me
As far as I could. Soul. Soil. Silt. Sullied current
I proved I could step into once
More. Forest. Mountain. Desert. Blood,
My resource and recourse. While at war
In my mind, I went farther than I thought—
Archer, I am my errors. Arching, I erred
In desire. Am I my target? Expect no mercy.
For better or worse, whatever happens,
I’ll be even better. I’ll be even worse—
Let’s go. Nobody is expecting us. Get ready.
Gone is the hour of ghosts over the gulf
Like whales, a memory, breaching surface
From depths unknown, stuck in between
Land and what is and what if and sea and
I suppose for air. A moment that wasn’t
This, we turned on. Resplendent. Meet me
At the shore. I aim with my life to prove
We can be happier than the ones we love.
The difference is distance, set. Crossed. Freed—
Copyright © 2025 by Paul Tran. Originally published in Poem-a-Day on August 20, 2025, by the Academy of American Poets.
“I recently learned that some animals must pass from one world to another in order to breathe. What must I pass through, and perpetually, to exist? Reality and ambition, then and now, victim and survivor, addiction and recovery, that world where I vowed not to be like my parents and this world where I am like them in every way. My father, for example, exacted unbelievable evil upon me for the sake of his own happiness. I hated him, and I’ve envied him. The line (‘We can be happier …’) comes from a phone call with Monica Sok. The line (‘Archer, I am my errors …’) comes from an email with Randall Mann. I’m grateful [for] them, and I’m deeply sorry to them, and to everyone, I’ve taken for granted.”
—Paul Tran
Paul Tran
Paul Tran is the author of All the Flowers Kneeling (Penguin Books, 2022).