Departure
Oh, my needy pocket, the crooked
tunnel that is not, in fact,
a tunnel. You have brought me
joy. You have brought me.
Who am I to question? First—
Chill—Then Stupor—Then
the evacuation. And
a man with a stained shirt.
My legs spread. Are you sure?
he asked. Yes, I said.
Will she come back? Will she
come back? Will she come
back? Will she come back? Will
she come back? Will she
come back? Will she come
back? Will she come back? Will
she come back? Will she come
back? Will she come back? Will
she come back? Will she—I
heard it all—the jar of me. I put
on my pants and gave thanks. I
held my grief like two limp
tulips. What am I allowed to
have? I’m still
here. I’m still hers. I’m
still a body licked by stars.
My eyes always drawn
to the groveling. Bless
these burnt wings. Bless.
Would I do it again?
Yes. Yes. Yes.
Copyright © 2021 by Erika L. Sánchez. Originally published in Poem-a-Day on October 12, 2021, by the Academy of American Poets.
“This poem is about the grief that came after ending a pregnancy. It was the most painful experience of my life and yet I knew that it was the right choice. It was a hard thing to reconcile, to live with these two truths. I know there are so many women who have felt this way.”
—Erika L. Sánchez