Asylum Seeker
translated from the Persian by Hajar Hussaini
I should have recited this poem before you fell to the ground
before the heart discarded October pomegranates in Tehran
before blowing our hair in the streets
because the audience’s authority rendered our bodies impartial
and it’s not nighttime on our side
on our side, there was a creature scattering salt on our blood current
and we had disputed our blood
we had disputed our soil
and we had paid our taxes off our veins to the passport police
we abandoned our bodies faster than a shrapnel
return to the blood!
return to your skin
which is devoid of memory
to the traces of your silver flakes in the streams of Tajrish
return to the language!
to its abrasion with the sharpness of a paper’s edge and nipple
expel your suppressing cells
through your tongue
expel your bare being
through your tongue
expel your alphabet’s clinical infection
through your tongue
expel the lingering lipstick on splinters of meaning
through your tongue
expel the pinkish vomit in the refugee camp
through your tongue
insert your head into your belly, then expel your unholy human
through your tongue
expel your socialist receipts
through your tongue
expel the clock set on your four different geographies
through your tongue
expel the reflection of the knife as you’re flaking your skin
through your tongue
expel the resemblances of others’ words in your own poems
through your tongue
expel your scheduled appointments with the bank, with Préfecture, and your lawyer
through your tongue
expel your blood on the corner of the public bathroom stall
through your tongue
return to the blood
for its permissible and auspicious
and don’t remember any one person
do not remember them
because lips have their own means of forgetting
an asylum seeker knows roasting hunted meat is more pleasant
how can an asylum seeker forget about having been kissed
her smile emerges from a frightening darkroom of individual deaths
however much it’s idiosyncratic, it’s public
I should have recited this poem before I fell to the ground
I have pinned collective suffering, and it hangs on my chest
I told the Arab man about the signs of heat in the collarbone he had touched
I called my body homeland and told the Romanian man about the silver flakes, how they can’t keep you warm
he threw his spear into the pond in the middle of the square to save his mother from her bedsore
at the time, we were holding onto the vegetable vessels of Italy
then to the fish’s mouth I said I have given ten more births than your mother
and I sank into my ashen blank skin
and I sank into my ashen blank tongue
the rain was not equal on all floors
the Ukrainian woman opened her umbrella
black people started dancing in a circle
the Arab people also danced
I sank into my ashen skin to the point
the sun brought me blood from the sliced streets
and the man, behind the desk, with a romantic French accent, kept whispering
go back to blood
because it’s permissible and auspicious
پناهنده
این شعر را قبل از به خاک افتادنت باید میسرودم
قبل از دل ترکاندن انارهای آبان در تهران
قبل از وزش موهایمان در خیابان
که تن مان را اتوریته یِ تماشاگران بی طرف کرده بود
و ( طرف ما که شب نبود)
طرفِ ما جانوری بود که در جریان خونمان نمک می پاشید
و ما که خون مان را تکذیب کرده بودیم
و خاک مان را تکذیب کرده بودیم
مالیات رگ هایمان را به پلیس گذرنامه پرداختیم
و تن مان را، تیزتر از ترکش ها، ترک کردیم
!به خون برگرد
!به پوستت
که از حافظه تُهی ست
به ردِ پولک های نقره ایت در جوی هایِ( تجریش )
!به زبان برگرد
به خراش اش، با لبه ی تیز کاغذِ و نوک پستان
و سلول های سرکوب گرت را زبان بکش
حیات برهنه ت را زبان بکش
عفونتِ بیمارستانی الفبایت را زبان بکش
رد ماتیک بر تراشه ی معنا را زبان بکش
استفراغ صورتی در کمپ های مهاجرت را زبان بکش
سرت را بکن توی شکمت، انسان نا مقدست را زبان بکش
فاکتورهای سوسیالیستی ات را زبان بکش
ساعت تنظیم شده به چهار جهت جغرافیایت را زبان بکش
انعکاس کارد بر تراش پولک هایت را زبان بکش
توارد کلمات دیگران در شعرهایت را زبان بکش
قرارهای ملاقاتت با بانک، پرفکتور، وکیل حقوقی ات را زبان بکش
خونت را بر لبه ی سنگ توالت های عمومی زبان بکش
به خون برگرد
که مُباح است و مبارک
و هیچ یک را به خاطر نیاور
به خاطر نیاور
زیرا که لب ها شیوه ی خودشان را دارند برای فراموشی
یک پناهنده میداند که رُستِ گوشت های شکار لذیذتر ست
یک پناهنده چگونه بوسیده شدن را فراموش میکند
و لبخندش از تاریکخانه ترسناک مرگ های فردی برمیخیزد
هر چه فردی تر، عمومی تر
این شعر را قبل از به خاک افتادنم باید میسرودم
رنج های عمومی ام را با سنجاق به سینه ام آویختم
به مرد عرب گفتم رد داغ در ترقوه است که لمسش کرده ای
تنم را وطن نامیدم به مرد رومانیایی گفتم پولکِ های نقره ای گرمت نخواهند کرد
او نیزه اش را در حوضچه ی وسط میدان فرو برد تا مادرش را از زخم بستر نجات دهد
و ما به آوند گیاهانِ ایتالیا آویزان بودیم
با دهان ماهی ها گفتم من حتی از مادرت ده بار بیشتر زاییده ام
و در پوست خاکستری بی حافظه ام فرو رفتم
و در زبان خاکستری بی حافظه ام فرو رفتم
باران بر تمام طبقه ها یکسان نمی بارید
زنِ اوکراینی چترش را گشود
و سیاه پوست ها در میدان رقصیدند
عرب تبار ها در میدان رقصیدند
و من در پوست خاکستریم آنقدر فرو رفتم
که خورشید از خلالِ خیابان ها برایم خون آورد
و مرد از پشت میز اداره با لهجه ی رمانتیک فرانسوی زمزمه میکرد
به خون برگرد
… که مباح است و مبارک
Copyright © 2024 by Maral Taheri and Hajar Hussaini. Originally published in Poem-a-Day on June 28, 2024, by the Academy of American Poets.
“This poem was written during and in the immediate aftermath of the poet’s migration to Europe after the fall of Kabul, Afghanistan, in August 2021 and social and political pressures resulting from the Woman, Life, Freedom movement in Iran, where she lived. Through email exchanges with Taheri, I can trace that her journey began in the early summer of 2023 and lasted until late October, when she finally settled in Paris. The poem represents the refugee experience, less in a factual sense than in how the poet makes sense of her disorientation while being expected to narrate her personal and political histories cohesively to the judges who decide whether to grant her asylum. These displacements are declared at the start of the poem: ‘I should have recited this poem before you fell to the ground,’ continuing with ‘before the heart discarded’ and before ‘blowing our hair.’ This repetition of before begs the question of where a poem about displacement actually begins. And then the poem moves like a creature, scattering salt on our blood as it enumerates disputed objects of belonging: blood, bodies, skin, soil, and language. In so doing, it interrogates the return to an original state by vomiting a pinkish substance and/or expelling things across the tongue, including the poem. In the end, Taheri analyzes the illogic of statements like “return to the blood” and its equivalents, which inevitably leads to the sinking into an ‘ashen blank skin’ and an ‘ashen blank tongue.’”
—Hajar Hussaini