After My First Breakup, My Father Writes His First Email
With his two index fingers—“the eagle method,”
as one says in Korea—he broaches everything else:
the recent death of a Korean actress, lessons
from the life of a sportswear brand chairman.
Then, a turn: I don’t like to use the word “love.”
It never feels complete.
Away from him, me in my new country, everyone
and everything is in love: I love
your shoes, I love your hair, this, that, him, her.
When had my father and I said the word
to each other?
How many times had I, picking up his call,
ended it in a rush, bored, running
to declare love to my boyfriend?
My teenage passions, precious;
my father’s loneliness, not my responsibility.
My “wild goose father,” flying back and forth
to see a closed room, only petulance left
at the door, as I preened privately for nonexistent boys.
How easy it was to forget this man’s sensitivity,
his love for music, that he took saxophone lessons,
coming home to an unlit apartment.
A taciturn man, who sings alone.
Who, when years later asked
what instrument he likes listening to the most,
said, the human voice.
Copyright © 2026 by Emily Jungmin Yoon. Originally published in Poem-a-Day on July 28, 2026, by the Academy of American Poets.
“I was sifting through an email account that’s over twenty years old to make space in its storage. I found this email that my dad wrote for the first time in his life, after I got my heart broken. I was moved, and heartbroken again, imagining him typing this up in [South] Korea, away from his family; seeing that I never replied; realizing that I had forgotten all about this email. I wrote this poem to belatedly acknowledge and fill my gaps in memory with these moments of tenderness, in which he was often clumsy but was nevertheless at his sincerest.”
—Emily Jungmin Yoon