from Aednan [X]

Vass Valley. Fall 1920

(Aslat the dead)

You left me 

on the Swede’s farm

alone and wrapped

in my large kolt

-

I didn’t stay there

-

One fall and one winter

we cried together

Then you joined

the herd and

left

As for me I spread

my kolt into wings

and flew away

blood drained 

from my body and

vanished

-

I couldn’t stay

Where I had fallen

never to rise

again

-

Did you feel me Father

blowing across the sea

Didn’t you hear me

Among the sea birds

when you arrived 

with your summer-fattened

reindeer

-

I was the lone

strand from the reindeer’s coat

gliding across the surface of the sea

in the bay by

the reindeer’s swimming spot

-

And the pretty hill

in the fall-summer sun

Where the herd 

had to find its own way

down the rocks

Until thick fog rolled in

And it was

impossible to see

the pitch of the slope

-

I was the forest 

thickening

around the great

forest way

hewn 

in olden times

-

Where your lead reindeer

cleaned its horns

Did you feel it Mother

in your hand

that long while you spent

milking the tame cow

who then disappeared

among the trees

-

To search for lichen

and mushrooms and lick

urine from the ground

-

I was the weight

in the stone you brought

back from the coast

to place on 

my grave

One stone each summer

you carry home

to the winterland

Nila and you

-

Mother you caress

that scar on my

brother’s forehead

as though it were a

whisper from me

-

Because I once

threw a wooden log 

at him

that hit right there

Nila when I fell

-

You continued

to treat me

the same

as though I

hadn’t changed

-

The same old

slow smile

while my head quietly

wanted to roll back

into place

deep between my shoulders

Nila did you feel that

I was the movement

under the boat

in the mountain lake where

Mother and you

spread the nets

-

Did you catch

my gaze

in the eye of the storm

-

I stood on a branch

my legs were like 

sticks

When the wind bent

back the yellowing

leaves

I saw strange mountains

with roaring rivers

-

And I flew over

the boat and called

to you:

There will be rain

there will be rain

Credit

Originally published in the March 2019 issue of Words Without Borders. From Aednan © Linnea Axelsson. By arrangement with the author. Translation © 2019 by Saskia Vogel. All rights reserved.